Happy birthday to me?

My birthday last night didn’t started out the way I wanted it though. In morning, I was in the hotel with my boss to finish our assessment for our client. In the afternoon, I was rushing to the mall to buy some boxers for love. However, I didn’t know that my birthday will start with tears and a small confrontation.

Love and I was exchanging text messages and thought we are just playing around the usual thing we do. I was just surprise to find out, he took one of my messages seriously. Arrgghh, damn, I was crying like hell because he wouldn’t want to be with me last night.

So I was drank to cover up the pain I feel inside. But he finally said he will be coming over to see me. I don’t know but with happened last night, something tells me, I should be back with my old self. Building walls to let no one hurt me.

I had worst experiences that I could ever imagine, most of them were abusive. This is one is quite different that made me decide that I should let him get that close to me and trust him like I never did before. I remember this quote that was sent to me once “Love like you were never hurt before:… And that’s what I am doing now.

I am just waiting for next year. We are planning to have our baby. Maybe by that time, I will no longer be hurt like this. I’ve got my baby… I know some of you will tell me, “Oh baby isn’t the answer”, but for me, that is the best thing I could do.

So this journey continues. I shall write more with my journey with him, what do you think?

“I don’t pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.”


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. donG hO
    Sep 14, 2008 @ 17:27:04

    yey! happy birthday equi! whether it may be sad moments or good moments that we remember on our birthday, what’s important is we are special. special in the eyes of the creator. a reason good enough to be happy. that’s why it’s always a happy birthday.

    happy happy birthday!


  2. equilibrium2008
    Sep 15, 2008 @ 12:45:20

    Thanks bro.. 🙂 Yeah but so far it ended great 🙂


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