Love and Hurt

Most of us dreams of happy endings. A fairy tale love story wherein the main characters live happily ever after. That is what those fairytale stories instill in our mind when we were kids.

I remember when I was a kid, I would always dream of having my own prince charming, a cute daughter and a happy family. I am addicted to fairytale stories, I am a sucker in happy endings. But growing up, I realized, life isn’t a fairytale, so as in love. Love in reality isn’t close to what I used to imagine reading my favorite fairytales.

As I mature, I realized that when loving someone, you will always get hurt. No matter how hard we try to avoid hurting the ones we love. Sometimes we hurt them without noticing it. The more we try to avoid them, the more we end up hurting them. I always believe in trying to keep things to myself which might hurt the relationship. And i was then successful not telling them what i feel. But right now, I realized, I should learn to speak up, tell them how I feel. Be it good or bad, I need to be transparent.

I remember the song of Tiffany, it says there It’s the lover not the love who broke your heart last night. It’s the lover not the dream that didn’t work out right. If you listen to your heart, ooh you’ll know it’s true
It’s the lover not the love who deserted you”

Well in loving someone, if we lose them, it is not love who left us or didn’t work out, it is indeed our partner who deserted us. Sometimes we cry so hard, we became so depressed that we forget that there is still tomorrow to hope for. If they leave us, it not us who lost something, we should always remember that it is their loss. If they leave us, we should not let it get into us too much. Crying is normal, but the following that, we should remember that we need to move on and face the fact that they are no longer with us. Leaving doesn’t make us less a person but rather just make us a better person after learning something from not so good experience. One thing I have learned in life, is that wisdom doesn’t always have to be sugar coated but sometimes it came like a bitter pill. Something we cannot swallow. But this bitter pills are way better that those sugar coated medicines we take to ease the pain we feel.

People leave us because in the first place, they were never meant to be with us. Like in those movies, their role has ended already. But we should not regret having them as a part in our life. They made us who we are. Thank God for He let us meet them to mold us into a better person.

Happy birthday to me?

My birthday last night didn’t started out the way I wanted it though. In morning, I was in the hotel with my boss to finish our assessment for our client. In the afternoon, I was rushing to the mall to buy some boxers for love. However, I didn’t know that my birthday will start with tears and a small confrontation.

Love and I was exchanging text messages and thought we are just playing around the usual thing we do. I was just surprise to find out, he took one of my messages seriously. Arrgghh, damn, I was crying like hell because he wouldn’t want to be with me last night.

So I was drank to cover up the pain I feel inside. But he finally said he will be coming over to see me. I don’t know but with happened last night, something tells me, I should be back with my old self. Building walls to let no one hurt me.

I had worst experiences that I could ever imagine, most of them were abusive. This is one is quite different that made me decide that I should let him get that close to me and trust him like I never did before. I remember this quote that was sent to me once “Love like you were never hurt before:… And that’s what I am doing now.

I am just waiting for next year. We are planning to have our baby. Maybe by that time, I will no longer be hurt like this. I’ve got my baby… I know some of you will tell me, “Oh baby isn’t the answer”, but for me, that is the best thing I could do.

So this journey continues. I shall write more with my journey with him, what do you think?

“I don’t pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.”

Guess what?!

I pretend
to smile and laugh to
be happy and have fun
only to hide the pain
that I run from
deep inside I am hurt
but there are feelings far worse
I wanna cry
but the tears stay away
everyday I feel pain
but laugh outside
only to hide the hurt
that makes me wanna cry

Meantime girl

This article has touched my heart. I was once a meantime girl. And I didn’t regret it since I know in my heart that I love the guy I am with. It seems like it is really me talking in this one. Hope it also touch your heart as it did to me. 🙂

She`s the one you call when you`re bored because she makes you laugh. She`s the one you talk to when you`re feeling down because she`s willing to lend an ear and be a friend. She`s not the one you call when you need a date to your company`s Christmas party, or to go dancing with on a Saturday night. She`s the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find `The One`. You know, the one you keep in the MEANTIME.

She`s not one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you don`t look at her as a “real” woman, either. She`s not bitchy enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in the light. She`s too laid-back, too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by. She`s too understanding, too comfortable. Doesn`t make you feel nervous or excited the way a `real` woman does. But she`s cool, nice and funny, and attractive enough that when you`re lonely and need intimate female companionship, she`ll do just fine.

You don`t have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, and you don`t have any facades to keep up, no pretense to preserve. You`re not trying to get anything of substance out of her. She`s not easy, but you know that she cares about you and is attracted to you. And you know that you don`t have to explain yourself or the situation, that she`ll be able to cope with the fact that this isn`t the beginning of a relationship or that there`s any possiblity that you have any real romantic feelings for her.

It won`t bother her that you`ll get up in the morning, put on your pants, say goodbye, and go on a date with the woman you`ve been mooning over for weeks who finally agreed to go out with you. She`ll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise to call her and tell her how the date went. She`s just so cool.. why can`t all women be like that?!

But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don`t.. because to you, the situation between the two of you isn`t important enough to merit any real thought) you know that it`s really not fair.

You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don`t think she`s good enough to spend any real time with. Sure, it`smostly her fault, because she doesn`t have to give in to your needs – she could really play hard-to-get. Bitch like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn`t pull it off. Maybe she`s too short, or a little overweight, or has big birthmark on her forehead, or works at Taco Bell, or just really not that type.

Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman. So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover, and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman.

You`ll joke to her that she should be the best man at your wedding, and she`ll laugh and make a joke about a smelly rental tux.

She doesn`t captivate you with her beauty, or open doors with her smile.

Mainly, she blends in with the crowd. She`s safe. She doesn`t want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. But she wants to turn someone`s head. She wants to be SPECIAL to someone, too. We all do.

She has feelings. She has heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger heart than any woman you`ve ever known because she`s had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she likes you anyway.

She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you`ve given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is. – Anonymous