Me and my lil man

When do you say goodbye? I guess what I did last night was right. I thought I could hold on longer but I was wrong. I don’t want my lil man see me and his dad fighting all the time. I think we better off as friends. I know, I shouldn’t gave up but for the sake of our child, I’d rather have him as a friend and have our lil man see us happy together than as couples who always fights and argue all the time.

I’ve got plans after giving birth. As I told him last December, even just after giving birth…. And now I gave birth, I guess I ought to keep my promise.. I will give him the freedom he wants. I know he would say he doesn’t want to end this, but what I know right now is that maybe he just can’t say goodbye.

It hurts a lot but I’ve got to be strong for my kid. Having Bell’s palsy is also something that I need to work on. I am glad that I have found a good-hearted employer online who is willing to give me a job. I am intending to keep it, and do my best to make her happy with my job. Even just for my kid, life has to go on. I shouldn’t stop even if I am tired. Yes, I think one thing I’ve learned from my child’s dad is never stop even if you are tired. There’s no room for tiredness.

Our future together is unknown. But whatever that awaits for me and my man, I will just enjoy the journey. Before I travel alone, but now I’ve got my lil man travelling with me in this journey called life..

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My ordeal with Bell’s Palsy

I haven’t blog anything lately since I just gave birth to a wonderful boy last December 29, 2009 at UPHR Las Pinas. Everything was fine until last Dec 31 when I feel suddenly numbness on my left side of my face. I thought it was just something like an allergic reaction. Then morning of January 1, while brushing my teeth, I can’t really gargle on my left face. And I noticed, my left eye can’t even blink. I called our family doctor and told him about it, first it was thought to be an allergy so he gave me claritin. But nothing changed. Till he mentioned it could be “BELL’S PALSY”. I was so scared hearing that word. What could be this Bell’s palsy thing.

Okay what is a Bell’s Palsy?

Bell’s palsy weakens or paralyzes the muscles on one side of the face. When something is paralyzed, it can’t move, so half of the person’s face might look stiff or droopy. The paralysis does not last forever, but someone who has it will have trouble moving one side of his or her face.

Bell’s palsy can develop over a matter of days. Because it can happen suddenly, someone might think the problem is a stroke — when a blood vessel in the brain gets clogged or bursts. Like Bell’s palsy, a stroke can paralyze a person’s face. But Bell’s palsy is caused by nerve trouble and isn’t as serious as a stroke. Bell’s palsy can be scary, but it usually doesn’t last long and goes away without treatment.

Bell’s palsy was named after a Scottish doctor, Sir Charles Bell, who studied the two facial nerves that direct how the face moves. You have one facial nerve for each side of your face. These nerves send messages from the brain to the face. Through these messages, the facial nerves control the muscles of your face, forehead, and neck.

Facial nerves control the expressions you make — like raising your eyebrows, squeezing your eyes shut, or smiling. Each facial nerve starts in the brain, goes through the skull in a narrow tube of bone, and exits the skull behind the ear. From there, it splits into smaller branches of nerves that attach to the muscles of the face, neck, and ear. Other small nerve branches run to the glands that make saliva, the glands that make tears, and the front of the tongue.

Okay, then after that our doctor prescribed me a medicine called Polynerve. On Jan 2, my hubby rushed me to the ER of UPHR and I was given steriods. I was freaking out when they told me it will take MONTHS before I can get my face back.

I am having a hard time eating, drinking and talking which I love to do. I’ve got lots of plans after giving birth like looking for a job and all.  But now I am stuck here at home feeling miserable. The only thing that gave me strength right now is my baby..

I hope to get well within two weeks. Please to those who will be able to read this blog, please pray for my fast recovery.. I have to do what I’ve got to do for my newborn son 🙂

Thanks guys…