Goin’ stronger

Last week has been a very nice and peaceful week for us. Although last week, my love is quite restless because of his problems. I understand how he feels, a lot of people depends on him. He has to be strong. I realized that our relationship is getting stronger and makes us more closer to each other.

I was surprised when he told me last Tue, “You know I got a song for you?”. And I asked, “What is it?”.. So he let me listen to this song..

Who would have thought a guy like him would dedicate such cute and romantic song for a girl. While he was singing at the top of his voice with matching dance choreography, I felt so loved and appreciated. No one has ever made me feel like this. I asked him if the entire lyrics is dedicated to me, oh well some of us just dedicate certain part of a song aight? But he said, “yes, my baby love. The entire song is how I feel and you make me feel”.  Below is the lyrics of this song.. It really made me calm whenever I feel like bursting. After listening to this song, I listen to this song everyday to start my day right..

(Nicole)
I remember like it was yesterday
first kiss and I knew you changed the game
you had me, exactly, where you wanted
and i’m on it, and I aint ever gon let you get away
holding hands never made me feel this way
so special, boy its your..
your smile, we so in Love (lalalalaaa)
yeeeah we so in Love (Lalalalalaaa)
and I just can’t get enough of your
lalala Lovee
yeeah we so in love LOVE
I want you to know…

You are my baby love my baby love
you make the sun come up
ohh boy (ohh boy)
you’re my every everything that I could ever dream of
You are my baby love my baby love
you make the sun come up
ohh boy (ohh boy)
you’re my every every every everything

In a minute now we’re still holding it down
butterflies everytime he come around
you make me, so crazy, its crazy, ohh baby
I don’t ever wanna be with no one else
you’re the only one that ever made me mad
you’re special, boy it’s your, your style
we so in Love (lalalalalaaa)
yeeeah we so in love Lalalalalalaa
and I just can’t get enough
of your lalala Love
yeah thats all i’m thinking of
LOVE, I want you to know

You are my baby love my baby love
you make the sun come up
ohh boy (ohh boy)
you’re my every everything that I could ever dream of
You are my baby love my baby love
you make the sun come up
ohh boy (ohh boy)
you’re my every everything that I could ever dream of
You are my baby love my baby love
you make the sun come up
ohh boy (ohh boy)
you’re my every everything that I could ever dream of
You are my baby love my baby love
you make the sun come up

ohh boy (ohh boy)
you’re my every every every everything

everything everything ohh
everything everything ohh

(Guy)
You always and forever you my sunshine
on my mind constant
think about you all the time (you’re my everything)

(Nicole)
Everything everything ohh
everything everything ohh

(Guy)
you ma new school (love)
you ma old school (love)
and it’s true you’re the one i’m thinking of

(Nicole)
You are my baby love my baby love
you make the sun come up
ohh boy (ohh boy)
you’re my every everything that I could ever dream of
You are my baby love my baby love
you make the sun come up
ohh boy (ohh boy)
you’re my every every every everything

You are my baby love my baby love
you make the sun come up
ohh boy (ohh boy)
you’re my every every every everything

You are my baby love my baby love
you make the sun come up ( you make the sun come up on a cloudy day)
ohh boy (ohh boy)
you’re my every every every everything

everything everything ohh
everything everything ohh

you are my baby baby baby babe love

everything everything ohh
everything everything ohh

you’re my everything
you are my baby baby baby baby love

And then Saturday came, I was like texting him and I felt he was cold. But to my surprise, he called me and I was shocked that he introduced me to his bestfriend. And I was speechless to know what he was telling to his friends about me. His bestfriend told me that my love told him that I am smart, caring, thoughtful, loving and someone he can talk in straight English. The last part really made me laugh. And his bestfriend asked me if I can introduce him to someone like me, because he also wants to get what my boyfriend is experiencing now. And my boyfriend said ” Sorry, she is mine and nobody can be like her”. It made me smile and realized that he is really proud of me.

Maybe in the last past few weeks, I was afraid to trust him. Not that I don’t love him, but I have been hurt a lot of times before. And when I realized just how much proud he is of me, I told myself, enough of my doubts and fears. I should learn to trust him that no matter what happens, he will always be my love. We are destined for each other. We both came in our lives, just right in time. In time we both need someone to love, hang on and share our burdens. This makes us more closer and appreciate each other more. We are not perfect, but we know that despite our flaws, we can see a perfect person for us. Because they made us better person. We both feel that we are willing to spend the rest of our lives with each other. Just like what he said and the song goes, I make the sun goes up and I am everything he dream of, I am his everything.

There is only one rule in love. And that is to make you love happy

I love you so much baby. I want you to be the father my baby. I am excited and happy as we both enjoy our journey called life. You’re my everything baby love.

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Bob Ong’s quote

PAG-IBIG (LOVE)

“Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka nya..” (If you don’t love a person, don’t give a motive for him/her to love you)

“Lahat naman ng tao sumeseryoso pag tinamaan ng pagmamahal. Yun nga lang, hindi lahat matibay para sa temptasyon.” (Everybody gets serious if they are truly in love. However, not everybody is strong in temptations)

“Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang taong malapit sayo. Gamitin ang utak para alagaan ang sarili mo.” (Use your heary to take care those people you care about. Use your head to take care of yourself)

“Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba.” (Don’t let go of something you don’t want to use holding by other people).

“Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang.” (Don’t hold something that you know you will just let go)

“Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na.” (Don’t hold on to something if you know you’re already holding one)

“Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin.”( It is just like an elevator. Why push yourself if there’s no place for you. There is a stair, you just ignore it.)

“Kung maghihintay ka nang lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo.. Dapat lumandi ka din.”(If you will just wait for someone to flirt with you, nothing will happen to your life.You should also flirt)

“Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang.” (If you like someone and he/she does’t like you, let it be. Who knows in the next day, you don’t like him/her also,it so happens, he/she felt it first)

“Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa.”(Leave him/her if you’re not happy anymore.There is no cure for stupid only initiative)

“Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka.. Kaya quits lang.”(If the person you love doesn’t love you back, don’t complain. Because there are also people that you don’t love but they love you. So it’s even.)

“Bakit ba ayaw matulog ng mga bata sa tanghali? alam ba nilang pag natuto silang umibig e hindi na sila makakatulog kahit gusto nila? (Why do children don’t want to take a nap in the afternoon?Do they know if they learn to love, they cannot sleep even if they want to)

“Hindi lungkot o takot ang mahirap sa pag-iisa kundi ang pagtanggap na sa bilyon-bilyong tao sa mundo, wala man lang nakipaglaban upang makasama ka.” (Not sadness or fear is the difficult part of being alone. It is the acceptance that out of billions of people in the world, there is nobody who even tried to fight just to be with you)

“Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lang yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!” (If you love somebody that doesn’t deserve you and you got hurt, don’t blame your heart. Your heart is only beating to supply blood to your body. Now if you’re good at anatomy and blame your hypothalamus that controls your emotions, you’re wrong again. Why?For Christ sake, don’t blame all of your body organs for your pains in your life. Remember this, you will only be happy, if you learn that not your heart,brain,liver or intestines has nothing to do with all the things that happens in your life because IT IS YOURSELF!)

PAG-AARAL (STUDIES)

“Mag-aral maigi. Kung titigil ka sa pag-aaral, manghihinayang ka pagtanda mo dahil hindi mo naranasan ang kakaibang ligayang dulot ng mga araw na walang pasok o suspendido ang klase o absent ang teacher. (Haaay, sarap!).”(Study hard.Because if you will stop, you will regret when you get old that you never experienced the joy brought by no classes or suspension of classes or teachers being absent)

“Nalaman kong marami palang libreng lecture sa mundo, ikaw ang gagawa ng syllabus. Maraming teacher sa labas ng eskuwelahan, desisyon mo kung kanino ka magpapaturo. Lahat tayo enrolled ngayon sa isang university, maraming subject na mahirap, pero dahil libre, ikaw ang talo kung nag-drop ka. Isa-isa tayong ga-graduate, iba’t-ibang paraan. tanging diploma ay ang mga alaala ng kung ano mang tulong o pagmamahal ang iniwan natin sa mundong pinangarap nating baguhin minsan…” (You learned that there are free lectures in the world, and it is you who will make the syllabus. There are a lot of teachers outside school, it is your decision who you will choose to teach you. All of us are enrolled now in a university, there are a lot of free subjects that are difficult, but because it is free, it is your lost if you drop.One by one we will graduate, in different ways. Our only diploma are the memories of whatever help or love that we left in this world that we once tried to change)

“Hikayatin mo lahat ng kakilala mo na magkaroon ng kahit isa man lang paboritong libro sa buhay nila. Dahil wala nang mas kawawa pa sa mga taong literado pero hindi nagbabasa.”(Encourage everybody to have at least one favorite book in their life. Because there will be more wretched than those people who are literate but doesn’t read)

“dalawang dekada ka lang mag-aaral. kung ‘di mo pagtityagaan, limang dekada ng kahirapan ang kapalit. sobrang lugi. kung alam lang ‘yan ng mga kabataan, sa pananaw ko ehh walang gugustuhing umiwas sa eskwela.” (You will only study for two decades. If you will not persevere, five decade of poverty will substitute.If the youth only knows about this, I believe no one will avoid school)

BUHAY (IN GENERAL) (LIFE)

“nalaman kong hindi final exam ang passing rate ng buhay. hindi ito multiple choice, identification, true or false, enumeration or fill-in-the- blanks na sinasagutan kundi essay na isinusulat araw-araw. Huhusgahan ito hindi base sa kung tama o mali ang sagot, kundi base sa kung may kabuluhan ang mga isinulat o wala. Allowed ang erasures.” ( I’ve learned that final exam isn’t the passing rate of life. It is not multiple choice, identification, true or false, enumeration or fill-in-the- blanks that is being answered but and essay that we write everyday. It will be judged not based whether we have right or wrong answer but based on the value of what we write. Erasures are allowed)

“Kumain ka na ng siopao na may palamang pusa o maglakad sa bubog nang nakayapak, pero wag na wag kang susubok mag-drugs. Kung hindi mo kayang umiwas, humingi ka ng tulong sa mga magulang mo dahil alam nila kung saan ang mga murang supplier at hindi ka nila iisahan.” (You can eat a siopao with a pad of cat or walk in broken glasses without foot cover but never ever try drugs. If you cannot avoid it, seek help of your parents. Because they know cheaper supplier and they will never cheat on you)

“Mangarap ka at abutin mo. Wag mong sisihin ang sira mong pamilya, palpak mong syota, pilay mong tuta, o mga lumilipad na ipis. Kung may pagkukulang sa’yo mga magulang mo, pwde kang manisi at maging rebelde. Tumigil ka sa pag-aaral, mag-asawa ka, mag-drugs ka, magpakulay ka ng buhok sa kili-kili. Sa banding huli, ikaw din ang biktima. Rebeldeng walang napatunayan at bait sa sarili.” (Dream and strive to achieve it. Don’t blame your broken family, your useless boyfriend/girlfriend, crippled puppy or flying cockroaches. If your family has shortcomings to you,you can blame and rebel. Stop studying, marry someone, do drugs, dye your armpit hair. In the end, you will be the victim. A rebel that doesn’t prove anything and has good reason to yourself)

“Tuparin ang mga pangarap. Obligasyon mo yan sa sarili mo. Kung gusto mo mang kumain ng balde-baldeng lupa para malagay ka sa Guinness Book of World Records at maipagmalaki ng bansa natin, sige lang. Nosi balasi. wag mong pansinin ang sasabihin ng mga taong susubok humarang sa’yo. Kung hindi nagsumikap ang mga scientist noon, hindi pa rin tayo dapat nakatira sa jupiter ngayon. Pero hindi pa rin naman talaga tayo nakatira sa jupiter dahil nga hindi nagsumikap ang mga scientist noon. Kita mo yung moral lesson?” (Achieve your dream. It is your obligation to yourself.If you want to eat tons of soil so you will be included in the Guiness book of record so our country will be proud of you, go ahead.Who the hell are they.Ignore whatever the people will say to stop you. If the scientists before didn’t strive, we are not living in Jupiter now. But we are not living in Jupiter now because the scientists before didn’t strive harder. Do you see the moral lesson?)

“Nalaman kong habang lumalaki ka, maraming beses kang madadapa. Bumangon ka man ulit o hindi, magpapatuloy ang buhay, iikot ang mundo, at mauubos ang oras.” (I learned that as we grow, you will stumble a lot of times. Whether you get up or not, life will continue, the earth will still revolve and time will be exhausted)

HALO-HALO (ANYTHING)

“Wag magmadali sa pag-aasawa. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon sa hinaharap, mag-iiba pa ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong di pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang sa kaboses niya si Debbie Gibson o magaling mag-breakdance. Totoong mas importante ang kalooban ng tao higit anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan sa eskwelahan e nagmumukha ring pandesal. Maniwala ka.” (Don’t rush in marriage. Three, five or ten years from now, your standard will change and you will realize that it is not right to choose a partner just because she sounded like Debbie Gibson or can do break dancing. It is true that character is still more important. As the time passes, even your school heartrobs will look like bread. Believe me)

“ayokong nasasanay sa mga bagay na pwede namang wala sa buhay ko.” ( I don’t want to get used of the things that I will lose eventually)

“hinahanap mo nga ba ako o ang kawalan ko?” ( Are you look for me or my absence?)

“hindi dahil sa hindi mo naiintindihan ang isang bagay ay kasinungalingan na ito. at hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohanan. ” (Not because you cannot understand something, it is already a lie. And not all you can understand is truth)

“Sabi nila, sa kahit ano raw problema, isang tao lang ang makakatulong sa’yo – ang sarili mo. Tama sila. Isinuplong ako ng sarili ko. Kaya siguro namigay ng konsyensya ang Diyos, alam niyang hindi sa lahat ng oras e gumagana ang utak ng tao.” (They said that in any problem,  there is only one person who can help you- IT IS YOURSELF. They are right. I surrendered myself. Maybe that is why God gave conscience, because he knows not all the time our brains are functioning.)

“Obligasyon kong maglayag, karapatan kong pumunta sa kung saan ko gusto, responsibilidad ko ang buhay ko.” (It’s my obligation to sail, it is my right to go to anywhere I want to go, my life is my responsibility)

“Masama akong tao, tulad mo, sa parehong paraan na mabuti kang tao, tulad ko.” (I am a bad person, like you, in the same way that you’re a good person like me)

“Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala.” (It is better to fail in doing something that win in doing nothing)

“iba ang walang ginagawa sa gumagawa ng wala.” (Doing nothing is different from not doing anything)

“iba ang informal gramar sa mali !!!” (Informal grammar is different from wrong grammar)

” Para san ba ang cellphone na may camera? Kung kailangan sa buhay un, dapat matagal na kong patay.” (What is the use of phones with camera? If it is really needed in life, I am already dead a long time ago)

Forget about me

Holdin’ on…

I am surprised to how long I can hold on to someone I love now. I used to be someone who can easily let go and just move on, without looking behind. But now, with what’s going on in our relationship, I am quite surprised on how much patience I am giving just to hold on and to fight for this relationship. I never knew I have that capability. I thought I am just someone who can easily move on and let go after someone said goodbye. But with him, I don’t expect I can hold on this longer despite all the pains and heartaches I am going through.

I think that is part of loving, the pain. Did I try to forget that pain is a package when you’re loving? Yes, I did. But I realized its inevitable. It will always be there. Sometimes, too much loving can also cause pain and sometimes we cannot avoid that.. And we are doing it ‘unconsciously’.

I don’t know I can love someone like him. I don’t expect I can even give this kind of love to someone. That I am capable of giving love and continue loving that person despite the heartaches he is giving me. Maybe this is what I call true love. Not trying to be masochist, it’s reality. I never felt this love so strong.

But I am no saint. I may have tantrums sometimes, which I think is just normal. I am not perfect. I may cry a lot because that’s the only way I can release the pains I feel inside. But till then, I pray that someday, everything will fall into the right place. “God thy will be done..”

Future together

Last night while love was here, I was surprised that he knew how to read palm. And on his reading, he mentioned that I will end up with the second guy I love. I’m starting to wonder, I didn’t tell him anything about my exes and my past relationships with him. Because he believes that whatever in past should remain in the past so we don’t dwell too much in talking about my ex boyfriends. I don’t think he does even know how many boyfriends I had before.

Too my surprise he said, I will end up with the second guy I have love. And I was like, “Oh my, there’s two of them I genuinely love”. Honestly, there’s only two of them I really cried and felt the fear of losing them. I just realized that what I felt with my ex isn’t really “love”. I mean, I love them but the whole of them. Maybe I was just in love with the idea that I love them but I don’t really feel it in my heart. Now that explains why I never felt so lonely nor hurt when we broke up. I thought before, I just really don’t know how to cry and when that reading happened last night, I was stunned and surprised.

I don’t regret ending up with him. I must say that he is the best guy I ever with. We have our own ups and downs but it doesn’t stop us from loving one another. Our fights and arguments are just merely way of telling one another that we are already hurting but that doesn’t mean we will give up on our relationship.

We were happy with what happened last night. Funny for other people it may seems but for us it means a lot. That even our palms says we will end up together. Btw, he was kinda sad when he said I will end up with the second guy I loved. And that’s the time I told him, “I never told you this before but there’s only two of you that I really cried and beg not to leave me. You’re the second guy I cried and beg not to leave me”. His face lit up and hug me. And he said, ” I am happy to be with you”.. Awww so sweet…

Now I think time to be more relaxed. I love him and he loves me. There’s nothing I want more. Just to be with him is enough for me to go on and live a full and contented life.

I love you my sexy love… muuah

Baby I love you (Never be replaced)

Baby I love you and I’ll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we made can never be erased
And I promise you that you will never be replaced

Baby I love you and I’ll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we made can never be erased
And I promise you that you will never be replaced

I love you, yes I do
I’ll be with you as long as you want me to
Until (until) the end (the end) of time

From the day I met you I knew we’d be together
And now I know I wanna be with you forever
I wanna marry you, and I wanna have your kids
It can never compare to the feeling of your kisses

I can say I’m truly happy to this day
You`ve made me thank God that I live my life everyday
There’s never been a doubt, in my mind
That I regret ever having you by my side

But if the day comes that I have to let you go
I think there’s something I should probably let you know
Enjoy everyday, that I spend with you
And I will miss you cause I’m happy that I had you at all

Baby I love you and I’ll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
The love we made can never be erased
And I promised you that you will never be replaced

Baby I love you and I’ll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
The love we made can never be erased
And I promised you that you will never be replaced

You will never be replaced

I feel for you, boy, yes i do
I`ll be with you as long as you want me to
Until, the end, of time

I’m sorry


I’m sorry of being so emotional
I’m sorry of being so possessive
I’m sorry that I cry for you
I’m sorry because I can’t live without you

I’m sorry for the tears you shed
I’m sorry for the damage I made
I’m sorry I’ve made you sick
Sorry I hurt you so deep

I’m sorry for giving you sleepless nights
I’m sorry for each and every fight
I’m sorry for your pain & agony
I’m sorry for the missing harmony

I’m sorry for my selfish love
I’m sorry for not caring enough
I’m sorry for my restlessness
I’m sorry for the losing grace

I’m sorry my friend I made you mad
I’m sorry darling you are so sad
Sorry for not giving you any happiness
Sorry because it’s my disgrace

I’m sorry for thinking of you so very much
I’m sorry I always miss your touch
I’m sorry of being so mad about you
I’m sorry for my every blue
I’m sorry of being so immature
I’m sorry now that can’t be cured
I’m sorry of being myself
I’m sorry that I’ve failed

I’m sorry and sorry again
I’m sorry of being insane
But believe me that I love you
Should I say sorry for that too?

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