Ugly

Everyone in the apartment complex I lived in knew who Ugly was. Ugly was the resident tomcat. Ugly loved three things in this world: fighting, eating garbage, and shall we say, love.

The combination of these things combined with a life spent outside had their effect on Ugly. To start with, he had only one eye, and where the other should have been was a gaping hole. He was also missing his ear on the same side, his left foot has appeared to have been badly broken at one time, and had healed at an unnatural angle, making him look like he was always turning the corner.

His tail has long age been lost, leaving only the smallest stub, which he would constantly jerk and twitch. Ugly would have been a dark gray tabby striped-type, except for the sores covering his head, neck, and even his shoulders with thick, yellowing scabs. Every time someone saw Ugly there was the same reaction. “That’s one UGLY cat!!”

All the children were warned not to touch him, the adults threw rocks at him, hosed him down, squirted him when he tried to come in their homes, or shut his paws in the door when he would not leave. Ugly always had the same reaction. If you turned the hose on him, he would stand there, getting soaked until you gave up and quit. If you threw things at him, he would curl his lanky body around feet in forgiveness.

Whenever he spied children, he would come running meowing frantically and bump his head against their hands, begging for their love. If ever someone picked him up he would immediately begin suckling on your shirt, earrings, whatever he could find.

One day Ugly shared his love with the neighbor’s huskies. They did not respond kindly, and Ugly was badly mauled. From my apartment I could hear his screams, and I tried to rush to his aid. By the time I got to where he was laying, it was apparent Ugly’s sad life was almost at an end.

Ugly lay in a wet circle, his back legs and lower back twisted grossly out of shape, a gaping tear in the white strip of fur that ran down his front. As I picked him up and tried to carry him home I could hear him wheezing and gasping, and could feel him struggling. “I must be hurting him terribly,” I thought. Then I felt a familiar tugging, sucking sensation on my ear.

Ugly, in so much pain, suffering and obviously dying was trying to suckle my ear. I pulled him closer to me, and he bumped the palm of my hand with his head, then he turned his one golden eye towards me, and I could hear the distinct sound of purring. Even in the greatest pain, that ugly battled scarred cat was asking only for a little affection, perhaps some compassion.

At that moment I thought Ugly was the most beautiful, loving creature I had ever seen. Never once did he try to bite or scratch me, or even try to get away from me, or struggle in any way. Ugly just looked up at me completely trusting in me to relieve his pain.

Ugly died in my arms before I could get inside, but I sat and held him for a long time afterwards, thinking about how one scarred, deformed little stray could so alter my opinion about what it means to have true pureness of spirit, to love so totally and truly.

Ugly taught me more about giving and compassion than a thousand books, lectures, or talk show specials ever could, and for that I will always be thankful. He had been scarred on the outside, but I was scarred on the inside, and it was time for me to move on and learn to love truly and deeply.

It was time to give my all to those I cared for. Many people want to be richer, more successful, well liked, beautiful, but for me, I will always try to be like Ugly.

Bob Ong’s quote

PAG-IBIG (LOVE)

“Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka nya..” (If you don’t love a person, don’t give a motive for him/her to love you)

“Lahat naman ng tao sumeseryoso pag tinamaan ng pagmamahal. Yun nga lang, hindi lahat matibay para sa temptasyon.” (Everybody gets serious if they are truly in love. However, not everybody is strong in temptations)

“Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang taong malapit sayo. Gamitin ang utak para alagaan ang sarili mo.” (Use your heary to take care those people you care about. Use your head to take care of yourself)

“Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba.” (Don’t let go of something you don’t want to use holding by other people).

“Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang.” (Don’t hold something that you know you will just let go)

“Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na.” (Don’t hold on to something if you know you’re already holding one)

“Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin.”( It is just like an elevator. Why push yourself if there’s no place for you. There is a stair, you just ignore it.)

“Kung maghihintay ka nang lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo.. Dapat lumandi ka din.”(If you will just wait for someone to flirt with you, nothing will happen to your life.You should also flirt)

“Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang.” (If you like someone and he/she does’t like you, let it be. Who knows in the next day, you don’t like him/her also,it so happens, he/she felt it first)

“Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa.”(Leave him/her if you’re not happy anymore.There is no cure for stupid only initiative)

“Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka.. Kaya quits lang.”(If the person you love doesn’t love you back, don’t complain. Because there are also people that you don’t love but they love you. So it’s even.)

“Bakit ba ayaw matulog ng mga bata sa tanghali? alam ba nilang pag natuto silang umibig e hindi na sila makakatulog kahit gusto nila? (Why do children don’t want to take a nap in the afternoon?Do they know if they learn to love, they cannot sleep even if they want to)

“Hindi lungkot o takot ang mahirap sa pag-iisa kundi ang pagtanggap na sa bilyon-bilyong tao sa mundo, wala man lang nakipaglaban upang makasama ka.” (Not sadness or fear is the difficult part of being alone. It is the acceptance that out of billions of people in the world, there is nobody who even tried to fight just to be with you)

“Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lang yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!” (If you love somebody that doesn’t deserve you and you got hurt, don’t blame your heart. Your heart is only beating to supply blood to your body. Now if you’re good at anatomy and blame your hypothalamus that controls your emotions, you’re wrong again. Why?For Christ sake, don’t blame all of your body organs for your pains in your life. Remember this, you will only be happy, if you learn that not your heart,brain,liver or intestines has nothing to do with all the things that happens in your life because IT IS YOURSELF!)

PAG-AARAL (STUDIES)

“Mag-aral maigi. Kung titigil ka sa pag-aaral, manghihinayang ka pagtanda mo dahil hindi mo naranasan ang kakaibang ligayang dulot ng mga araw na walang pasok o suspendido ang klase o absent ang teacher. (Haaay, sarap!).”(Study hard.Because if you will stop, you will regret when you get old that you never experienced the joy brought by no classes or suspension of classes or teachers being absent)

“Nalaman kong marami palang libreng lecture sa mundo, ikaw ang gagawa ng syllabus. Maraming teacher sa labas ng eskuwelahan, desisyon mo kung kanino ka magpapaturo. Lahat tayo enrolled ngayon sa isang university, maraming subject na mahirap, pero dahil libre, ikaw ang talo kung nag-drop ka. Isa-isa tayong ga-graduate, iba’t-ibang paraan. tanging diploma ay ang mga alaala ng kung ano mang tulong o pagmamahal ang iniwan natin sa mundong pinangarap nating baguhin minsan…” (You learned that there are free lectures in the world, and it is you who will make the syllabus. There are a lot of teachers outside school, it is your decision who you will choose to teach you. All of us are enrolled now in a university, there are a lot of free subjects that are difficult, but because it is free, it is your lost if you drop.One by one we will graduate, in different ways. Our only diploma are the memories of whatever help or love that we left in this world that we once tried to change)

“Hikayatin mo lahat ng kakilala mo na magkaroon ng kahit isa man lang paboritong libro sa buhay nila. Dahil wala nang mas kawawa pa sa mga taong literado pero hindi nagbabasa.”(Encourage everybody to have at least one favorite book in their life. Because there will be more wretched than those people who are literate but doesn’t read)

“dalawang dekada ka lang mag-aaral. kung ‘di mo pagtityagaan, limang dekada ng kahirapan ang kapalit. sobrang lugi. kung alam lang ‘yan ng mga kabataan, sa pananaw ko ehh walang gugustuhing umiwas sa eskwela.” (You will only study for two decades. If you will not persevere, five decade of poverty will substitute.If the youth only knows about this, I believe no one will avoid school)

BUHAY (IN GENERAL) (LIFE)

“nalaman kong hindi final exam ang passing rate ng buhay. hindi ito multiple choice, identification, true or false, enumeration or fill-in-the- blanks na sinasagutan kundi essay na isinusulat araw-araw. Huhusgahan ito hindi base sa kung tama o mali ang sagot, kundi base sa kung may kabuluhan ang mga isinulat o wala. Allowed ang erasures.” ( I’ve learned that final exam isn’t the passing rate of life. It is not multiple choice, identification, true or false, enumeration or fill-in-the- blanks that is being answered but and essay that we write everyday. It will be judged not based whether we have right or wrong answer but based on the value of what we write. Erasures are allowed)

“Kumain ka na ng siopao na may palamang pusa o maglakad sa bubog nang nakayapak, pero wag na wag kang susubok mag-drugs. Kung hindi mo kayang umiwas, humingi ka ng tulong sa mga magulang mo dahil alam nila kung saan ang mga murang supplier at hindi ka nila iisahan.” (You can eat a siopao with a pad of cat or walk in broken glasses without foot cover but never ever try drugs. If you cannot avoid it, seek help of your parents. Because they know cheaper supplier and they will never cheat on you)

“Mangarap ka at abutin mo. Wag mong sisihin ang sira mong pamilya, palpak mong syota, pilay mong tuta, o mga lumilipad na ipis. Kung may pagkukulang sa’yo mga magulang mo, pwde kang manisi at maging rebelde. Tumigil ka sa pag-aaral, mag-asawa ka, mag-drugs ka, magpakulay ka ng buhok sa kili-kili. Sa banding huli, ikaw din ang biktima. Rebeldeng walang napatunayan at bait sa sarili.” (Dream and strive to achieve it. Don’t blame your broken family, your useless boyfriend/girlfriend, crippled puppy or flying cockroaches. If your family has shortcomings to you,you can blame and rebel. Stop studying, marry someone, do drugs, dye your armpit hair. In the end, you will be the victim. A rebel that doesn’t prove anything and has good reason to yourself)

“Tuparin ang mga pangarap. Obligasyon mo yan sa sarili mo. Kung gusto mo mang kumain ng balde-baldeng lupa para malagay ka sa Guinness Book of World Records at maipagmalaki ng bansa natin, sige lang. Nosi balasi. wag mong pansinin ang sasabihin ng mga taong susubok humarang sa’yo. Kung hindi nagsumikap ang mga scientist noon, hindi pa rin tayo dapat nakatira sa jupiter ngayon. Pero hindi pa rin naman talaga tayo nakatira sa jupiter dahil nga hindi nagsumikap ang mga scientist noon. Kita mo yung moral lesson?” (Achieve your dream. It is your obligation to yourself.If you want to eat tons of soil so you will be included in the Guiness book of record so our country will be proud of you, go ahead.Who the hell are they.Ignore whatever the people will say to stop you. If the scientists before didn’t strive, we are not living in Jupiter now. But we are not living in Jupiter now because the scientists before didn’t strive harder. Do you see the moral lesson?)

“Nalaman kong habang lumalaki ka, maraming beses kang madadapa. Bumangon ka man ulit o hindi, magpapatuloy ang buhay, iikot ang mundo, at mauubos ang oras.” (I learned that as we grow, you will stumble a lot of times. Whether you get up or not, life will continue, the earth will still revolve and time will be exhausted)

HALO-HALO (ANYTHING)

“Wag magmadali sa pag-aasawa. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon sa hinaharap, mag-iiba pa ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong di pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang sa kaboses niya si Debbie Gibson o magaling mag-breakdance. Totoong mas importante ang kalooban ng tao higit anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan sa eskwelahan e nagmumukha ring pandesal. Maniwala ka.” (Don’t rush in marriage. Three, five or ten years from now, your standard will change and you will realize that it is not right to choose a partner just because she sounded like Debbie Gibson or can do break dancing. It is true that character is still more important. As the time passes, even your school heartrobs will look like bread. Believe me)

“ayokong nasasanay sa mga bagay na pwede namang wala sa buhay ko.” ( I don’t want to get used of the things that I will lose eventually)

“hinahanap mo nga ba ako o ang kawalan ko?” ( Are you look for me or my absence?)

“hindi dahil sa hindi mo naiintindihan ang isang bagay ay kasinungalingan na ito. at hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohanan. ” (Not because you cannot understand something, it is already a lie. And not all you can understand is truth)

“Sabi nila, sa kahit ano raw problema, isang tao lang ang makakatulong sa’yo – ang sarili mo. Tama sila. Isinuplong ako ng sarili ko. Kaya siguro namigay ng konsyensya ang Diyos, alam niyang hindi sa lahat ng oras e gumagana ang utak ng tao.” (They said that in any problem,  there is only one person who can help you- IT IS YOURSELF. They are right. I surrendered myself. Maybe that is why God gave conscience, because he knows not all the time our brains are functioning.)

“Obligasyon kong maglayag, karapatan kong pumunta sa kung saan ko gusto, responsibilidad ko ang buhay ko.” (It’s my obligation to sail, it is my right to go to anywhere I want to go, my life is my responsibility)

“Masama akong tao, tulad mo, sa parehong paraan na mabuti kang tao, tulad ko.” (I am a bad person, like you, in the same way that you’re a good person like me)

“Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala.” (It is better to fail in doing something that win in doing nothing)

“iba ang walang ginagawa sa gumagawa ng wala.” (Doing nothing is different from not doing anything)

“iba ang informal gramar sa mali !!!” (Informal grammar is different from wrong grammar)

” Para san ba ang cellphone na may camera? Kung kailangan sa buhay un, dapat matagal na kong patay.” (What is the use of phones with camera? If it is really needed in life, I am already dead a long time ago)

Friendship and love

  • Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.
  • Don’t cry over anyone who won’t cry over you.
  • Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.
  • You can only go as far as you push.
  • Actions speak louder than words.
  • The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else.
  • Don’t let the past hold you back; you’re missing the good stuff.
  • Life’s short. If you don’t look around once in a while, you might miss it.
  • A best friend is like a four leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have.
  • If you think that the world means nothing, think again. You might mean the world to someone else.
  • When it hurts to look back, and you’re scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there
  • True friendship never ends.
  • Friends are forever.
  • Good friends are like stars….You don’t always see them, but you know they are always there.
  • Don’t frown. You never know who is falling in love with your smile.
  • What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry?
  • NOBODY IS PERFECT UNTIL YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH THEM. (Isn’t that the truth?)
  • Everything is okay in the end. If it’s not okay, then it’s not the end.

Most people walk in and out of you life. But only True friends leave footprints in your heart.

When we look back on our younger years, we will remember the people who went to school with us, the people who made us laugh, the people who hung out with us when nobody else would, and the people who made our lives much better simply by being a part of it.

There may be somebody who is thinking about you RIGHT NOW and wishing that you were around. That’s the wonderful thing about friendship-you always feel loved and cared about.

The most important thing to remember is… Always appreciate the friends that you have.

A fight may come and go very easily, but a friendship could last forever.

For every second spent in anger, a minute of happiness is wasted.

Count your blessings

I got this from a friend in my email. It really moved me and realized that I should be grateful with what I have. I hope this poem will also touch your heart the way it did to me

I’ve never made a fortune,
and it’s probably too late now.
But I don’t worry about that much,
I’m happy anyhow.

And as I go along life’s way,
I’m reaping better than I sowed.
I’m drinking from my saucer,
‘Cause my cup has overflowed.

Haven’t got a lot of riches,
and sometimes the going’s tough.
But I’ve got loving ones all around me,
and that makes me rich enough.

I thank God for his blessings,
and the mercies He’s bestowed.
I’m drinking from my saucer,
‘Cause my cup has overflowed.

I remember times when things went wrong,
My faith wore somewhat thin.
But all at once the dark clouds broke,
and the sun peeped through again.

So Lord, help me not to gripe,
about the tough rows I have hoed.
I’m drinking from my saucer,
‘Cause my cup has overflowed.

If God gives me strength and courage,
When the way grows steep and rough.
I’ll not ask for other blessings,
I’m already blessed enough.

And may I never be too busy,
to help others bear their loads.
Then I’ll keep drinking from my saucer,
‘Cause my cup has overflowed.

When I think of how many people
in this world have it worse than I do.
I realize just how blessed most of us really are.

Flower in the desert

This happened many many summers ago.

There was a young flower in the desert where all was dry and sad looking…It was growing by itself…enjoying every day…and saying to the sun “When shall I be grown up”? And the sun would say “Be patient”—Each time I touch you,you grow a little”…And she was so pleased.Because she would have a chance to bring beauty to this corner of sand…And this is all she wanted to do—bring a little bit of beauty to this world.

One day the hunter came by—and stepped on her.—She was going to die—and she felt so sad.Not because she was dying —but because she would not have a chance to bring a little bit of beauty to this corner of the desert.

The great spirit saw her, and was listening.—Indeed,he said …She should be living…And he reached down and touched her—and gave her life.

And she grew up to be a beautiful flower…and this corner of the desert became so beautiful because of her.

The Hospital Window

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn’t hear the band – he could see it. In his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.”

Epilogue:
There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can’t buy.

Today is a gift, that’s why it is called the present.

Quotes about Choice

  • You are the person who has to decide. Whether you’ll do it or toss it aside; You are the person who makes up your mind. Whether you’ll lead or will linger behind. Whether you’ll try for the goal that’s afar. Or just be contented to stay where you are.” ~Edgar A. Guest~
  • “You are everything that is, your thoughts, your life, your dreams come true. You are everything you choose to be. You are as unlimited as the endless universe.” ~Shad Helmstetter~
  • “You are now at a crossroads. This is your opportunity to make the most important decision you will ever make. Forget your past. Who are you now? Who have you decided you really are now? Don’t think about who you have been. Who are you now? Who have you decided to become? Make this decision consciously. Make it carefully. Make it powerfully.” ~Anthony Robbins~
  • “You can do what you want to do. You can be what you want to be.” ~David Thomas~
  • “When making your choice in life, do not neglect to live.” ~Dr. Samuel Johnson~
  • “It is by chance we met by choice we became friends.” ~Unknown~
  • “Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” ~William Jenning Bryan~
  • “The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice.” ~George Eliot~
  • “It’s choice – not chance – that determines your destiny.” ~Jean Nidetch~
  • “If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise.”
  • ~Robert Fritz~
  • “Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.” ~Dr. Wayne Dyer~
  • “Every choice you make has an end result.” ~Zig Ziglar~
  • “Live your dream by making deliberate choices, not just responding to whatever life throws your way.” ~Marcia Wieder~
  • “You and I are essentially infinite choice-makers. In every moment of our existence, we are in that field of all possibilities where we have access to an infinity of choices.” ~Deepak Chopra~
  • “Our lives are a sum total of the choices we have made.” ~Dr. Wayne Dyer~
  • “Look for your choices, pick the best one, then go with it.” ~Pat Riley~

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