Happiness or loneliness?

I can’t find the right words to make it as the title of this entr. Maybe the title fits. I don’t know, I just feel like writing it. I am overjoyed and I am so happy. Happy that I am scared to let it just slip away. I am clinging to this happiness. I once let go of the happiness for the sake of what is right but now, I am holding on to it. As long as I am happy. Does being happy also means I have to be selfish sometimes? Hmm, I think so. I think everybody does have a selfish side right? Not only me.

I know a lot of people will condemn me for choosing to be happy now. But right now all I can say is that, I really don’t care. For the longest time, I keep on thinking what other people will say, what people will think. Regardless that means of letting go of the things that makes me happy just to make everybody happy and pleased. But I realized as I mature, I cannot please everybody.

I was once like that role model girl, always do what is right. Afraid of bending rules in the game of love. I always play fair. But being fair always led me to broken hearts. While I sulk to sadness, other people enjoy the happiness that is suppose to be mine.

Now, I have the chance to be happy. And I intend to hold on to it, cling to it. I won’t let anybody take it away from me.

I am staying

Trust me when I said I have never met anyone like you. I have been through this before. Having to decide whether I should let go or stay as I am. I have never cared how people will look, how people will think. Because to me YOU are the most important thing that matters now. People can lie, people can try, people can hurt, they can try to imitate me as much as they want, say whatever they want, do whatever they want. I DON’T CARE, because I know that we are different. We are strong. And each time stronger than ever! And my decision? I’m telling the world now… I’M HAPPY LIKE THIS! And I’M HAPPY WITH YOU!!! NO ONE CAN EVER CHANGE THAT EXCEPT US!!! US! To hell with the world I DON’T CARE!!! I AM STAYING WITH YOU TILL THE DAY YOU SAY NO TO ME!!