Bad English Part 2

Well, last night while I was writing the Bad English article, I forgot this recent incident. This happened during the last Binibining Pilipinas 2008. The girl who won the Binibining Pilipinas World and will be competing for this year Ms. World beauty pageant has a very bad command in English. Come to think of it, Ms. Janina San Miguel is a communication student (major in Broadcasting), and yet she has this English command.

Just see and watch: (please see the transcript too!)

Plus the transcript!

Paolo Bediones: Janina, how are you?
Janina San Miguel: I’m fine.
Paolo Bediones: Alright, so you won two of the major awards – Best in Long Gown, Best in Swimsuit, do you feel any pressure right now?
Janina San Miguel: No, I don’t feel any pressure right now.
Paolo Bediones: Confident! Alright! Please choose a name of the judge.
Paolo Bediones: We have Miss Vivienne Tan.
Vivienne Tan: Good Evening.
Janina San Miguel: Good Evening.
Vivienne Tan: The question is, what role did your family play to you as candidate to Binibining Pilinas?
Janina San Miguel: Well, my family’s role for me is so important b’coz there was the wa- they’re, they was the one who’s… very… Hahahaha… Oh I’m so sorry, Ahhmm… My pamily (thi… My family… Oh my god… I’m… Ok, I’m so sorry… I… I told you that I’m so confident… Eto, Ahhmm, Wait… Hahahaha, Ahmmm, Sorry guys because this was really my first pageant ever b’coz I’m only 17 years old and ahahaha I, I did not expect that I came from, I came from one of the top 10. Hmmm, so… but I said that my family is the most important persons in my life. Thank you.

Hmm, now what do you think of her English? Can you understand? I wonder how she even won the title and for me I she had not answered the question. See, the p and f she says “pamily” while it should be “f”amily.

A lot of of people says that this also happens with Ms. Teen U.S.A (Ms. South Carolina). And she doesn’t have any excuse since she is an American and she should have “mastered” this language very well. Hmm I can’t seem to understand whether she is confused or don’t know how to answer that damn question.

Please take A look..(Please read the transcript!)

The question: Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can’t locate the US on a world map. Why do you think this is?

Transcript of Ms. South Carolina’s answer:

I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as. And I believe that they should, uh, our education over here! In the U.S. should help the U.S., or, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for our children.

Hmm funny right? I wonder when they can try to at least speak slowly but surely *confused*.. Why they always have to be in the rush.

Bad English…

I was working with call center industry for almost 5 years. And given I have been dealing with foreigners most of the time and we are not allowed to disclose our locations, (say even if the customer noticed our native accent, we should still say that we are located in U.S.), we need to really sound like Americans or Brits, depends which account you will be handling.

Mostly of the accounts I handled were U.S. clients so I need to undergo this American Accent training with none other than Anne Cook. Dang she is really good. But since I am a Filipino, I think there would still be slip of the tongue when it comes to this English language. The common problems of Filipinos I think would be the P and the F, the B and V. Most of the time, they interchange this with one another for example “pe-der” (this should be “F”ea=ther), fey-per (this should be “P”ey-per) and the likes. Also the “Th” sounds.

Hmm, I think this is the classic Filipino English which is mostly shown during our Accent training classes. This is why I just so love Rex Navarette. I know some people think he is kinda racist but common, he is stand up comedian, and I think most of them do this as well.

Yeah see the P and the F. 😀

Maritess is also funny..

Basically this are videos that shows that we need to have to improve our English if we are really serious in getting in the call center industry. But sometimes, I think when I was in this industry, I find some of the agents so TH (trying hard) when they try to imitate the way black people speak. For me, I think, they sounded like this:

Yeah, the more harder you try to sound like those black or put some twangs the more it ends up in disaster. Example the beach ends up with short e and it sound like BITCH!. Common dude, speak in your normal way. Don’t be so trying so hard. You look like a mess.

I’d rather listen to this person. Who thinks that the title of Mariah Carey’s song Without you is Ken Lee. I think she has more excuse in English language since I think only few speaks fluent English in Bulgaria.

Hmm, now I wonder, do I also speak that bad. But hey, so far in my stay in the call center, none of my customers during escalations of my agents thinks I am not located in U.S. so as my agents.

Maybe, I should not be confident enough. I should still improve my English.

Prayers of the Stress Impaired

  • Lord help me to relax about insignificant details beginning tomorrow at 7:41:23 am e.s.t.
  • God, help me to consider people’s feelings, even if most of them ARE hypersensitive.
  • God, help me to take responsibility for my own actions, even though they’re usually NOT my fault.
  • God, help me to not try to RUN everything. But, if You need some help, please feel free to ASK me!
  • Lord, help me to be more laid back and help me to do it EXACTLY right.
  • God help me to take things more seriously, especially laughter, parties, and dancing.
  • God give me patience, and I mean right NOW!
  • Lord help me not be a perfectionist. (Did I spell that correctly?)
  • God, help me to finish everything I sta
  • God, help me to keep my mind on one th-Look a bird-ing at a time.
  • God, help me to do only what I can, and trust you for the rest. And would you mind putting that in writing?
  • Lord, keep me open to others’ ideas, WRONG though they may be.
  • Lord, help me be less independent, but let me do it my way.
  • Lord, help me follow established procedures today. On second thought, I’ll settle for a few minutes.
  • Lord, help me slow down andnotrushthroughwhatIdo. Amen

Just for a laugh

Got this from my officemate. I can’t help but laugh while reading it.

  • “Bakit ba pati ako, binibigyan nyo ng malisya? Ano ba ang kasalanan ko?!” ~ Talong ~
  • “Hindi lahat ng malakas, super hero!” ~ Putok ~
  • “Paano tayo makakabuo kung hindi ako papatong sa iyo?” ~ Lego ~
  • “Halika, bigyan mo pa ako ng init. Kailangan kong pumutok para ako’yiyong matikman at ika’y masarapan. Ayan na! Puputok na! Humanda ka!” ~ Popcorn ~
  • “Kahit papaano, gusto ko din ng exposure!” ~ Singit ~
  • “Hindi ko hinahangad na ipagmalaki mo na ako’y sa iyo. Ayoko langnaman na sa harap ng maraming tao, ganun mo na lang ako itanggi!” ~ Utot ~
  • “Hindi lahat ng hinog ay matamis!” ~ Pigsa ~
  • “Kapag ang katawan mo’y nag-iinit, lagi na lang ako ang hinahanap mo.Maya’t maya mo akong ginagamit at pinapagod. Hindi ka na naawa!” ~ Aircon ~
  • “Pagod na akong humawak ng balls mo! Pagod narin ako sapagbihis-hubad mo sa akin. Malapit na naman ulit! Ayoko na!!!” ~ Christmas Tree. ~
  • “I ikspik that it will be a long payt, a good payt, But you know, Ididn’t ikspik. Tinks por da God, you know, and tinks por ol da pelepeno pipol!” ~ Manny Pacquiao ~
  • “You never even thank me for making you happy, then you throw me awayjust like that. I hate you for using me, for making my life full of shit!” ~ Tissue ~
  • “Hindi llahat ng kulot, salot!” ~ Golddilocks ~
  • “Hindi lahat ng bubuyog, kulay itim!” ~ Jollibee~
  • “Alam kong sa tingin mo, masaya ako! Pero bakit kayo ganyan?! Satuwing wala na kayong masabi, ako na lang ang ginagamit nyo! Pagod na pagod ako sa pagngiti!” ~ Smiley ~
  • “You can cry all you want, you could always blame me. You said, itwasn’t fair that you just want life to be better. But remember, it’s allyour fault! You stabbed me with a knife!” ~ Sibuyas ~
  • “Isubo mo ang kahabaan ko. Dilaan. Sipsipin. Paglaruan sa bibig mo.Para lumabas ang katas ko na kinasabikan mo. Nag mamahal,” ~ Ice Candy ~
  • “Bakit ayaw nyo pa rin sa akin kahit sosyal at maganda ako? Dahil bamas sweet ang iba?”. ~ Fruitcake ~
  • “Panakip butas mo lang pala ako!”. ~ Panty ~
  • “Pinapaikot mo lang ako! Nagsasawa na ako. Mabuti pang patayin mo na lang ako”. ~ Electric fan ~
  • “Hindi lahat na walang salawal ay bastos!” ~ winnie d’ pooh ~
  • “Alam mo ba wala akong ibang hinangad kundi ang mapalapit sa iyo. Pero patuloy ang pag-iwas mo”. ~ ipis ~
  • “Hala! sige magpakasasa ka! Alam ko namang katawan ko lang ang habol mo.” ~ hipon ~
  • “Ayoko na! Pag nagmamahal ako, lagi na lang maraming tao ang nagagalit! Wala ba akong karapatang magmahal?!” ~ Gasolina ~
  • “Sawang-sawa na ako, palagi na lang akong pinagpapasa-pasahan, pagod na pagod na ako.”~ Bola ~
  • “Ginawa ko naman lahat para sumaya ka, mahirap ka ba talagang makontento sa isa? Bakit palipat-lipat ka? ~ TV ~
  • “Hindi lahat ng maasim may vitamin C” ~ kili kili ~
  • “Pilitin mo man na alisin ako sa buhay mo, babalik at babalik ako! ~ Libag ~
  • “Anung kasalanan ko sa iyo, iniwan mo na lang akong duguan…” ~ Sanitary Napkin ~
  • “Hwag mo na akong bilugin..” ~ kulangot ~
  • “Bwisit na buhay ito! Araw-araw na lang, itlog! Umaga, tanghali, gabi, itlog! Itlog! Itlog! Lagi na lang itlog!” ~ Brief ~
  • “Sige, kalimutan mo ako para malaman ng iba ang baho mo! ~ deodorant ~
  • “Ako lang ang makakapagpadugo ng ilong ni Manny Pacquiao!” ~ English ~
  • “Hindi totoong anak ko si Bakekang! At lalong hindi ko kapatid si Mike Enriquez! Kaya pwede ba, tigilan na ang tsismis na yan!”~ Shrek ~

Why live in the Philippines

I got this from an email. I find written here very funny but unfortunately true. Have fun reading

When I travel, people often ask me why I live in the Philippines ? Well here it is…..

It is the only place on earth where……

1. Every street has a basketball court.
2. Even doctors, lawyers and engineers are unemployed.
3. Doctors study to become nurses for employment abroad.
4. Students pay more money than they will earn afterwards.
5. School is considered the second home and the mall considered the third.
6. Call-center employees earn more money than teachers and nurses.
7. Everyone has his personal ghost story and superstition.
8. Mountains like Makiling and Banahaw are considered holy places.
9. Everything can be forged.
10. All kinds of animals are edible.
11. Starbucks coffee is more expensive than gas.
12. Driving 4 kms can take as much as four hours.
13. Flyovers bring you from the freeway to the side streets.
14. Crossing the street involves running for your dear life.
15. The personal computer is mainly used for games and Friendster.
16. Where colonial mentality is dishonestly denied!
17. Where 4 a.m. is not even considered bedtime yet.
18. People can pay to defy the law.
19. Everything and everyone is spoofed.
20. Where even the poverty-stricken get to wear Ralph Lauren and Tommy Hilfiger (peke)!
21. The honking of car horns is a way of life.
22. Being called a bum is never offensive.
23. Floodwaters take up more than 90 percent of the streets during the rainy season.
24. Where everyone has a relative abroad who keeps them alive.
25. Where wearing your national colors make you baduy.
26. Where even the poverty-stricken have the latest cell phones. (GSM-galing sa magnanakaw)
27. Where insurance does not work.
28. Where water can only be classified as tap and dirty.
29. Clean water is for sale (35 pesos per gallon).
30. Where the government makes the people pray for miracles. (Amen to that!)
31. Where University of the Philippines where all the weird people go.
32. Ateneo is where all the nerds go.
33. La Salle is where all the Chinese go.
34.. College of Saint Benilde is where all the stupid Chinese go and;
35. University of Asia and the Pacific is where all the irrelevantly rich people go.
36. Fast food is a diet meal.
37. Traffic signs are merely suggestions, not regulations.
38. Where being mugged is normal and It happens to everyone.
39. Rodents are normal house pets.
40. The definition of traffic is the ‘non-movement’ of vehicles.
41. Where the fighter planes of the 1940s are used for military engagements and;
42. The new fighter planes are displayed in museums.
43. Where cigarettes and alcohol are a necessity, and where the lottery is a commodity.
44. Where soap operas tell the realities of life and where the news provides the drama.
45. Where actors make the rules and where politicians provide the entertainment.
46. People can get away with stealing trillions of pesos but not a thousand.
47. Where being an hour late is still considered punctual (Grabe talaga ‘to!)
48. Where the squatters have more to complain (even if they do not pay their tax)
– than those employed and have their tax automatically deducted from their salaries.
49. And where everyone wants to leave the country!

FILIPINO SIGNS OF WIT:

1. The sign in a flower shop in Diliman called Petal Attraction.
2. Anita Bakery
3. A 24-hour restaurant called Doris Day & Night
4. Barber shop called Felix The Cut;
5. A bakery named Bread Pitt
6. Fast-food place selling ‘maruya’ (banana fritters) called Maruya Carey.
7. Then, there are Christopher Plumbing
8. A boutique called The Way We Wear
9. A video rental shop called Leon King Video Rental
10. A restaurant in Cainta district of Rizal called Caintacky Fried Chicken
11. A local burger restaurant called Mang Donald’s
12. A doughnut shop called MacDonuts
13. A shop selling ‘lumpia’ (egg roll) in Makati called Wrap and Roll
14. And two butcher shops called Meating Place and Meatropolis.

Smart travelers can decipher what may look like baffling signs to unaccustomed foreigners by simply sounding out the ‘Taglish’ (The Philippine version of English words spelled and pronounced with a heavy Filipino such as:
15. At a restaurant menu in Cebu ? We hab sopdrink in can an in batol? [translation: We have soft drinks in can and in bottle].
16. Then, there is a sewing accessories shop called Bids And Pises – [translation: Beads and Pieces –or– Bits and Pieces]

There are also many signs with either badly chosen or misspelled words but
they are usually so entertaining that it would be a mistake to ‘correct’ them like…….
17. In a restaurant in Baguio City , the ‘summer capital’ of the Philippines : ? Wanted: Boy Waitress?
18. On a highway in Pampanga: ?We Make Modern Antique Furniture?
19. On the window of a photography shop in Cabanatuan : ? We Shoot You While You Wait?
20. And on the glass front of a cafe in Panay Avenue in Manila :?Wanted: Waiter, Cashier, Washier?.

Some of the notices can even give a wrong impression such as:
21. A shoe store in Pangasinan which has a sign saying: ? We Sell Imported Robber Shoes? (these could be the ‘sneakiest’ sneakers);
22. A rental property sign in Jaro reads: ?House For Rent, Fully Furnaced? (it must really be hot inside)!
23. Occasionally, one could come across signs that are truly unique – if not altogether odd.

City in southern Philippines which said: ?Adults: 1 peso; Child: 50 centavos; Cadavers: fare subject to negotiation? .
24. European tourists may also be intrigued to discover two competing shops selling hopia (a Chinese pastry) called Holland Hopia and Poland Hopia – which are owned and operated by two local Chinese entrepreneurs, Mr. Ho and Mr. Po respectively – (believe it or not)!
25. Some folks also ‘creatively’ redesign English to be more efficient.?The creative confusion between language and culture leads to more than just simple unintentional errors in syntax, but in the adoption of new words, ?says reader Robert Goodfellow who came across a sign …..

House Fersallarend’ (house for sale or rent). Why use five words when two will do?
26. According to Manila businessman, Tonyboy Ongsiako, there is so much wit in the Philippines because?We are a country where a good sense of humor is needed to survive?. We have a 24-hour comedy show here called the government and a huge reserve of comedians made up mostly of politicians and bad actors.

Now I ask you where else in the world would one want to live?

Next Newer Entries