I hope this is it…

I’m having this weird bleeding since last week. Not a regular menstruation I guess but rather a very short or most likely spotting only. I wonder if this what you call ‘implantation bleeding’. I am expecting to have my period this 24th, but I am hoping and praying that I am really pregnant. According to my doctor, I am showin’ signs of a pregnant woman, coz if I do now, I am on my third week.

But things aren’t always goin’ smoothly lately. Most of the times I feel so alone and just tryin to cover all the pains inside me. I try to smile so no one would know that I am hurting..

I guess I am good at it. Been good at it the longest time I can remember.

Now May 15 is also near, I need to prepare myself for looking for a new job. I cannot afford to be totally dependent on my bf. Especially if I am pregnant. I need to find a new job before May ends.

In these past three months, all I do is wonder. Whether I would still want a 8-5 job or I would want to set up my own biz.  I will be getting a separation pay and I might use it for small biz. But darn, deep inside of me I am scared. What if the biz won’t work out? What will happen to me and my baby if in case?

A lot of things have been goin’ on my head. I have no one to talk to. I envy those people who have a lot of friends. I do have friends but they are too far right now. Some of them, they just left me. Now I am missing Jen.. I wish she’s here.

And right now, my bf and I argue a lot. And sometimes, I just want to give up. But should I give up now if I have a baby now?

Right now, I dunno what to do?

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. dong ho
    Apr 23, 2009 @ 07:52:28

    whatever your decision will be with your boyfriend, let it not lead to abortion. save the baby.

    pray and decide.

    Reply

  2. Robor
    Apr 24, 2009 @ 07:21:11

    Hi,
    Thank you! I would now go on this blog every day!
    Robor

    Reply

  3. equilibrium2008
    Apr 25, 2009 @ 04:02:13

    My dr. said it’s what is called implantation bleeding.. But we’ll have to wait and see till end of this month.. But both of us are very excited for our lil angel..

    The fights, I guess its the mood swings which is normal for our condition right now 😀

    Reply

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