Holdin’ on…

I am surprised to how long I can hold on to someone I love now. I used to be someone who can easily let go and just move on, without looking behind. But now, with what’s going on in our relationship, I am quite surprised on how much patience I am giving just to hold on and to fight for this relationship. I never knew I have that capability. I thought I am just someone who can easily move on and let go after someone said goodbye. But with him, I don’t expect I can hold on this longer despite all the pains and heartaches I am going through.

I think that is part of loving, the pain. Did I try to forget that pain is a package when you’re loving? Yes, I did. But I realized its inevitable. It will always be there. Sometimes, too much loving can also cause pain and sometimes we cannot avoid that.. And we are doing it ‘unconsciously’.

I don’t know I can love someone like him. I don’t expect I can even give this kind of love to someone. That I am capable of giving love and continue loving that person despite the heartaches he is giving me. Maybe this is what I call true love. Not trying to be masochist, it’s reality. I never felt this love so strong.

But I am no saint. I may have tantrums sometimes, which I think is just normal. I am not perfect. I may cry a lot because that’s the only way I can release the pains I feel inside. But till then, I pray that someday, everything will fall into the right place. “God thy will be done..”


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. rhosie
    Oct 27, 2008 @ 05:06:27

    i wish i can learned that too…i admire your courage and determination to hold on in spite of the heartaches and pain.i guess your in the stage that your mature enough to love unconditionally…yeah, i agree true love has no sets of rules nor guidances…you love the person despite of his own flaws or imperfectness…and you continue loving the person without any expectations in return…


  2. equilibrium2008
    Oct 27, 2008 @ 05:11:15

    Yes, I just simply love him. 🙂


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