Happiness or loneliness?

I can’t find the right words to make it as the title of this entr. Maybe the title fits. I don’t know, I just feel like writing it. I am overjoyed and I am so happy. Happy that I am scared to let it just slip away. I am clinging to this happiness. I once let go of the happiness for the sake of what is right but now, I am holding on to it. As long as I am happy. Does being happy also means I have to be selfish sometimes? Hmm, I think so. I think everybody does have a selfish side right? Not only me.

I know a lot of people will condemn me for choosing to be happy now. But right now all I can say is that, I really don’t care. For the longest time, I keep on thinking what other people will say, what people will think. Regardless that means of letting go of the things that makes me happy just to make everybody happy and pleased. But I realized as I mature, I cannot please everybody.

I was once like that role model girl, always do what is right. Afraid of bending rules in the game of love. I always play fair. But being fair always led me to broken hearts. While I sulk to sadness, other people enjoy the happiness that is suppose to be mine.

Now, I have the chance to be happy. And I intend to hold on to it, cling to it. I won’t let anybody take it away from me.

5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. su
    Jul 28, 2008 @ 08:16:53

    No one should be condemning you for wanting to be happy. Just be yourself, because at the end of the day, you deserve everything you have.


  2. donG hO
    Jul 28, 2008 @ 14:41:29

    sometimes you also need special time like these. this times are very important. but it is still be better to spend time for others.


  3. equilibrium2008
    Jul 28, 2008 @ 15:30:15

    Thanks Michelle and Dong. I know and I will not let go of this happiness now. 🙂


  4. slo
    Jul 28, 2008 @ 20:54:14

    I am really happy for you to understand that you cannot please everyone.
    Really, you can only please yourself and a select few others, right?
    Being happy, I think, is one of the most important things in life. As long as you haven’t committed crimes or seriously hurt another person for it, it’s okay to be a little selfish about it.
    And you’re right – everyone has that side of them.

    Good for you, anyhow! 🙂


  5. equilibrium2008
    Jul 29, 2008 @ 02:24:10

    Thanks Sareeta. 🙂


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