Haffa me..

I watched last night Date my mom and the guy who is searching a potential girlfriend is named Chris. He have to date these three moms and he will choose which daughter he wanted to date based on his dating experiences with these mommies. 🙂 So despite the other mom is super hot so also knows that her daughter is as hot he is, he chose the other mom whom he dated at shabu-shabu. Why? Because the daughter of that mom is a half Japanese-American just like him. And he said “Misha is real cutey and I just really love Haffas like me”.. (Should it be “Halfa or Haffa?!) Annnyyyways, I think I have conveyed what I am trying to say right? 😀

So I was inspired of my experiences being half Chinese-quarter Filipino-Spanish. Yes my dad is pure Chinese and my mom is half Filipino-Spanish. So my features is not a typical Filipino but rather unique. My skin color of example is not a fair as Chinese but not as Mestiza like those Spanish. But I have a very light chocolate colored skin. I guess because of my father and my mother’s combination. But see my siblings, they all have Chinese features, my Ahia have chinky eyes and my shobe has a very fair complexion like those in Chinese girls.

So there, I went to Chinese school just like those normal Chinese kids. I enjoyed my school days there, in fact, I still have my classcard from Nursery there. I was stunned to see that I got 96% for Chinese language, for writing I got 89% and for reading I got 94%. And I asked myself, did I really do that? See, my Fookien now isn’t that good like when I was a kid. And I was so amazed, that I was really good at it before. But right now, my Fookien is really bad now, and my mom and aunts said I was not like that when I was kid. I talk most of the time in Chinese and rarely speaks in Tagalog or English.

Then grade 3 up to college, I went to Filipino Catholic school. My English got better but I totally lost my Chinese lingo. Whenever a Chinese who knows how to speak talks to me in Fookien, I get shocked because I don’t understand what he/she was saying.

Because of this, there are a lot of disappointments. I tried to befriend some pure Chinese here of my age but was born here in the Philippines, but I only have few good relationships with those. Most of them, they don’t like befriending haffa’s like me. They may not be racists but most of them, they are bigots. They thinks haffas like me are no good at all. 😦 Sad but true…

I was raised in a modern Chinese family. Basically more on Spanish-Filipino upbringing. But my father also taught us Chinese ways. I think everything of what I am now is a mixed culture. For traditional Chinese families here in the Philippines, they still believe that Chinese is for Chinese only. But my father didn’t insist for us to marry a Chinese guy but rather choose someone who can make us happy. Which we are following now. I experienced being hurt just because of being haffa. Up to the point I almost regret being haffa. I didn’t know that until now, for some, being haffa is an issue. An issue that made them unfair for me.

There was this one time a girl who was brought up in a Chinese Traditional family made a Kai siao (to meet) with another guy. But little did I know she liked the guy. She set us up to let the guy know that she is better because of her being from traditional family and me from modern Chinese family. Made a comment that I was “too” liberated for him. Hmm, duh!, the guy and I dated few more times after her first set up date and we both like each other *blush*…. So I think holding hand isn’t that bad aight? Unless I was kissing this guy torridly in front of her which is not. And because of that, she said I am too liberated. Oh common you hakey fakey bitch!… She didn’t know I was still with the guy after we dropped her off on her way to her house. And the guy let me read her text messages. Text messages on which she is telling the guy that her boyfriend of 10 years isn’t giving her the attention she needs… Which we both think she is just saying so the guy will fall to her trap. I remember her saying before she set up the date, ” Hey this guy is rich. They have supply business and lives in a high class subdivision” And I said, “Doesn’t matter if he is rich or not, what matters is if we will get along together”. The nerve of that little scheming bitch, to think I am a gold digger. Hello, I am not after his money, I have experienced how it feels to be in his position and I don’t need to marry a rich guy just to experience how it feels to be rich.

It is my decision to choose Chinese partner. Maybe because I don’t want to lose the Chinese lineage in me. I am proud to come from Chinese blood the same with my Filipino-Spanish blood. Being in mix culture, I am able to combine all their best trait and exude to be different and stand out in the crowd. So I wonder now, will I ever find that Chinese guy for me. I don’t want to settle down, just because my biological clock is ticking. I want to settle down because I have found that person. Maybe Ouchies will notice me one day and realized, that me,being haffa is better than those pure chinese girls he is dating. 🙂 Or maybe someone could set me for another date then… I hope somebody is interested. 😀 😉

Till then.. Enjoy and be proud being haffa’s like me. Muuaah!! Ciao!


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  1. Trackback: learn how to speak chinese

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