Before I was a mom
Before I was a Mom – I made and ate hot meals. I had unstained clothing. I had quiet conversations on the phone.
Before I was a Mom – I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed. I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.
Before I was a Mom – I didn’t worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations
Before I was a Mom – I had never been puked on, wet on, spit on, chewed on, or pinched by tiny fingers.
Before I was a Mom – I had complete control over my thoughts, my body, my mind. I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom – I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests, or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep
Before I was a Mom – I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn’t want to put it down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I could not stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom – I didn’t know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn’t know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn’t know that bond between a Mother and her child. I didn’t know that something so small could make me feel so important
Before I was a Mom – I had never gotten up every ten minutes, in the middle of the night, to make sure that all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderfulness, or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn’t know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.
Got this poem from my email and I can’t stop but smile.. Yes everything that is written here are all true.. Before I was a mom… 
Open Letter (Happy Anniversary love)
Dear Love,
From the first time we met I knew you were special, unlike other guys. I never thought we would be where we are today and with a child. The roads we have traveled have been long and bumpy, but we survived the ruts. Thank you for always giving us that extra chance to make it and never giving up on us no matter how bad things got.
I love you so much, and I want you to know that I appreciate everything you do for me. You are an amazing daddy too; Martin is so lucky to have you as a father and also our coming little Inyigo. When you hold him by touching my tummy, I fall in love with you all over again because I will see the life we created soon, the life that we will share, our family. I’m so excited to share that special moment with you. Thank you for never leaving me by myself when I know you have all the reason to leave; you try to come every available day you have just so I would have company. You were right by my side through it all, and when I was so down,I made it through it all because I had your arms to fall back on.
Thank you for taking care of my bills when I could not work. Thank you basically for supporting me in everything. You are an amazing person and I want you to know you are my very best friend. I love you so much more than this letter could ever say. You are my life, my destiny.
Happy Anniversary…. I love you
Part 2 – My life story
Alright after receiving that heart warming and uplifting email from my aunt, my life has changed. I made a lot of realization now. I never had the genuine love from my family. All these years, I thought I was doing okay, being neglected and all. Why do I say I was neglected? I never experienced them genuinely care how I really feel. Even if I am in front of them and other people, they would tell those people how bad I am. I thought I would be fine because I learned to build walls around me.
But behind that wall, I gathered all my strength just in case they will be successful hurting me again. Since I was a kid, I can’t remember where my mom would hug me and comfort me whenever I cry or sad. I grew up with nanny. Whenever I try to approach my mom and tries to tell her “Hey mom, I’ve got a problem”, she would start yelling and accusing me of starting that problem.
I remember when I was in high school, we all know how high school works. Bullies are everywhere. I joined this COCC (Cadet Officer Candidate Course) so I can be an officer when I’m on my 4th year. I was bullied and was even threatened that I will be beaten up by some 4th year high school girls. I was alone in that school, I only have few friends but sad to say, fighting isn’t their style. So to my fear going to school, I called up my mom and cried and beg her to transfer to another school. I explained what happened and the only reply I got from her was “Are you taking drugs?”.. From then on, I know I have to survive. I worked my best to be able to get that acceleration test for me to enter college. I passed, with flying colors.
Then when I was in college, I learned that survival… Whenever I’ve got problems, I never tell it to her. Why? I would only get some physical abuse from her or verbal so why would I even bother right.
I graduated in college, my aunt who sent me to school (the one who sent the email) instilled in my head that I need to finish college so I can work for my family. I worked hard and during my college days, I would only get PHP100 a week for allowance, I go to school with a tricycle that costs me PHP10 and walk going home after school. My school starts at 12 noon and ends at 6 pm or sometimes 9, so its bearable for me to walk from school going home.
I graduated when I was 18, worked and my mind says I have to work for my family. Whenever I get my salary, I would only leave enough money for me to survive for the next payday and the rest goes to my family. I try and look for every possible way to get a higher pay. I don’t want to experience again what I’ve been through during my college days.
Our family business was bankrupt. My dad is sick and our small business which he set up after the bankruptcy barely even covers our daily expense. There were times when we have to share one plastic of bread bun (there’s 6 of us) for the whole day. We would usually ask our neighbor who has a store for some goods in credit. That stuck in my head.
So when I finally got a job just right after graduation, I told myself, it won’t happen to me again. I worked so hard that I even neglect buying rewards for my hard work. Coz I feel bad and would always think that “Hey I need to save this money so I can use this for our expenses in our house”. All throughout my working career, I never had the chance to buy those expensive cellphone gadgets nor shop for clothes. All of my stuff were hand me down clothes of my aunt from US which she sends through package. In my mind, whenever I see something I like to buy, I would tell myself, ” Not now, there’s a package coming”.
I deprived myself having some luxuries because I’m thinking of being responsible for house expenses. I saved my money, just in case someone would be sick. And it happened, my dad was confined. He got sick and everything I saved were gone.
I never regret that, don’t get me wrong. But what I can’t accept is being accused of killing my father. And being selfish and all. Don’t I have the right to complain that I’m tired? Don’t I have the right to say how I feel. Despite all of my efforts to provide for my family, all I get were criticisms. Comments that would usually break my heart.
I don’t know if I am that bad. I just want to be happy now. And that happiness is what I found from my hubby. My hubby gave me things I deprived myself for a long time. And even helped me out to bring back the self esteem I lost because of those hurting words I got from my own family and relatives. And I realized, hey I’ve been living my life like a robot. All my life, I gave it to my family. Thinking it is my responsibility to make them comfortable regardless of my own happiness. I realized, I have lived my life in guilt because after my father died, they instilled in my head, it was my fault my father died. (My father died in ICU because of complications of diabetic.) I realized, I lived my life trying to please other people and depriving myself from own happiness. I realized that all these time, regardless of what I do, it will never be enough for them. I realized that I sacrificed having a good life just because I want give good and comfortable life to my family. I realized that I may owe them because they provide for my schooling and they feed when till I was in college but that doesn’t mean I have to take shits from them. I have worked right after college and didn’t give myself anything as a reward for my hardwork.
With these realizations, I came to a decision…. I will live my life first for my baby now and my hubby. I don’t want to neglect it and deprive myself again from happiness that I deserve. I will live my life to the fullest now…
LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO LIVE WITH REGRETS. NOBODY SAID IT WOULD BE EASY BUT I KNOW IT’S GONNA BE WORTH IT…
A very heartwarming letter from my aunt…
I don’t know but I just cant take it anymore. I know I should be posting a personal email to me specially if its something that isn’t so good. But hey, this is my blog. This is my own space right? Anyways, I will be posting it here and try my best to translate it in English for those people who can’t understand Tagalog… Here it goes:
My aunt October 12 at 9:25am Report
Son,
Siguro kahit puro baba-e ang mga anak mo wala ka ring suerte, hamak mo para ka nilang ginagawa na parang katulong, particularly si (ME). (Maybe even your children were all girls, you still have no luck. Imagine, you were being treated like a maid particularly (ME))
I dont understand bakit ganyan ang mga iyan parang di ka niya nanay.Dios ko , Day mula tayo naging bata di man lang natin nagawa iyan kay Nanay.Ni panty natin di ni Nanay na narasan na palabhin nation siya kahit ano sa mga gamit natin. (I dont understand why they are like that as if you were not their mother. For Christ sake, Day since we were kids we were not able to do that to our mother.Our mom never experienced washing any of our clothes not even our underwears)
Day, naka-awa ka sa situation mo siguro kasi ang tingin nila sa iyo walang pera , di ko sukat akala-in itong si (ME), bakit ganyan siya sa iyo kay ED, nahalos ibuhos mo ang buhay mo sa kanila, ganyan pa ang trato niya sa iyo para kang mutchacha tratuhin. (Day, I feel bad for your situation, maybe they think you don’t have money. I cannot imagine (ME), why she’s like that to you where in you almost give your whole life for them and yet they are still treating you like this, like their maid.)
Minsan pagnai-sip kita, na-aawa talaga ako sa iyo. Sa tatlo mong anak alam ko kong sino tlaga ang magmamahal sa iyo at patunayan ko sa iyo kong sino ang walang kuwenta din pagdating ng oras. (Sometimes, when I think of you, I feel bad for you. With your three kids, I know who really loves you and I will prove to you who among them is useless to you in the future)
Isa ito sa mga advises ko sa iyo noong mga bata pa tayo, pero sinunod mo ang puso mo di utak, ako utak ang pina-iral pero sabihin ko pang nakarating man ako kong sa-an minahal ko ang mga magulang natin . (This is one of my advises to you since we were kids, but you still follow your heart and not your head. I used my head but even if I say I get to where I am now, I loved our parents.)
Di ko nagawa kila nanay ang ginagawa ni EDEN sa iyo.I’m so sorry, sis.Haya-an mo Day, pag-uwi ko sa July magkikita tayo kahit sa-sn pero di sa mga anak natatakot ako sa kanila. (I never did what (ME) has done to you. I’m so sorry ss. Don’t worry, when I go there by July, we will see each other but never your children since I am afraid of them).
Nakakilabot ang mga bibig nila at mga ugali… I will stay in Manila but not with your children. It’s scary at nakapangilabot isipin . (Their mouth and attitudes are scary. I will stay in Manila but not with your children. It’s scary)
Take it easy baka ikamatay mo pa ang ginagawa ni EDEN sa iyo na para kang Maid.(palamunin ka na pala niya, sabi ko sa iyo umalis kana diyan sa partment na iyan .)nakalimot na siya na mas marami siyang utang sa iyo kahit tambakan para siya. (Take it easy coz whatever (ME) is doin to you might cause your death because she is treating you like a maid. (she’s feeding you already huh. Leave that apartment. She already forget that she owes you alot even if she works her whole life)
Take it easy sis marunong ang dios. (Take it easy sis, God knows best)..
Alright now here’s my side…
1.) since I graduated in college when I was 18, I never had the chance to enjoy my own salary. Why? Because it was in my head that my aunt sent me to college so I can work for my family after I graduated. So after graduation, I’m lucky to found a job. Whatever I am earning, I would only set aside money enough for me to survive till my next payout. NO EXTRA MONEY SET ASIDE FOR CLOTHES OR OTHER LEISURE. I always budget my money even with my last job that I should not exceed certain amount for my food and transpo. Everything is calculated. If I overspend today, rest assured I will cut down something for my tomorrow’s expense.
2.) 10 years of working straight ( graduated from college when I was 18), and I never had the chance to buy anything for myself. Not even a brand new phone. Everything else, came from my aunt’s hand me down clothes that she sent through package. I never had the chance to experience shopping for my clothes, shoes, coz what I would usually think is the house expenses I have to pay when payday comes.
3.) I worked for call center for almost 5 years. Without me experiencing a day shift. Everything is GRAVEYARD SHIFT. So I was like an owl for 5 years. Why? Of course because of the extra pay I would get through night diff and other perks. I was able to save 350K. I was saving this because I want to start a rice dealership business. But unfortunately, my dad was hospitalized and died after a week. So everything i saved went there.
But last Wednesday, my mom told me I killed my father. Why? Because I gvae him heartaches and the likes. See, since my father died, my family accused me of killing my father. All my life, I never said or mention any problem to them.
I remember whenever I’ve got problem in school before and tries to talk to my mom, she would just yell at me, spank me, slap me, grab my hair, pinch me or sometimes strangled me. So I grew up with my nanny. I’ve went a lot since m high school days, its all in me but I never told anybody in my family. Because I know nobody would care to listen.
So now I finished college and worked, I worked hard for them. Not even thinking whether I will be sick or not. What’s important is for me to earn and gave them money. But despite this, it’s never enough.
I never treated my mom like a maid. I can do my own thing, but she would clean my room, wash my clothes in her own free will. I asked her to get a maid once, and she got me a maid who spreads gossip in the neighborhood that she wishes me to lose my baby. So I fired her. Then I asked her again to find me one but now, she refused. Coz she wants someone whom she can control and spreads gossip too.
I don’t understand why she has to make up stories about me, my sister or my brother so she can get money from my Aunt in US. I feel so so bad. All these years that I worked my ass for them, I didn’t know I’m still the bad one. I really don’t know what to do.
I have my own family now, and until the day she was here, I am the one paying the house rent, electricity, water bills, grocery AS IN EVERYTHING! It has been like that since I graduated.
All these time, I thought I was really bad. Until I met my hubby who tries to bring back my self esteem which I lost becase f the cruel comments I received from my family.
Sometimes I wanna go away from them. Have no contact or whatsoever with them. I was only asking my mom to pay me the house rent which she lent to her friend since her friend needs stethoscope for her son. Imagine STETHOSCOPE VS. OUR HOUSE. And it’s alright is she asked permission from me first but she never did. When we asked we have 3 months left behind already with the rent. I badly need that money, so I can move out and look for a new place. But I doubt if she will ever pay me. 
I never killed my father. God knows how much I worked hard for them. Why am I still the bad one in this story.
Never Mind, There’s Tomorrow
Once, there lived a child. He lived in a happy family, with parents and siblings. However, he never stopped to think about how wonderful his life had been. He just kept on playing, squabbling with his siblings when they did not want to play what he wanted to play. However, when he wanted to apologize, he always said, “Never mind, there’s tomorrow.”
When he grew up a little, school was a very nice place for him. He learned, made friends, and was very happy. However, he never thought that this was happiness to him. It all came so naturally that he felt it should become part of his life. One day, he had a great fight with his best friend. Though he knew he was in the wrong, he never took the initiative to apologize or made up with his best friend. His excuse was, “Never mind, I’ll do it tomorrow.”
When he grew up yet some more, that best friend was no longer part of his. Even though he still sees his friend around, but they don’t even greet each other. But that was all right, because he still had other good friends. He and his friends did almost everything together, eating, playing, doing homework, and fooling around. Yes, they were another bunch of very good friends.
When he graduated, work kept him very busy. He’s found himself a very pretty and virtuous girlfriend and she soon became his constant companion. He made himself busy with work, because he wanted to get promoted to the highest position with the shortest time possible.
Sure, he missed his good friends. He missed them a lot. But he never got down to keep in touch with them, not even a telephone call. He always said, “Boy, I’m so tired, I’ll catch up with them tomorrow.” It didn’t affect him at all because he could find colleagues who are always willing to go pubing with him. Thus, as time passes by, he’s forgotten to call his friends.
After he’s got married with kids, he works even harder in order to bring comfort to his family. He never buys flowers for his wife anymore, nor does he remember his wife’s birthdays and wedding anniversary. It was all right because his wife always understood him, and never blamed him. Of course, he felt guilty at times and wanted very much to have a chance to say to his wife “I love you”, but he never got down to doing it. His excuse was “never mind, I’ll do it tomorrow for sure”. He never made it to his children’s birthday parties, but his time he did not knew how it would affect the children. The children began to drift away from him, as they never really spent time with their father.
One day, disaster struck when his wife was killed in an accident. It was a hit and run accident. But on that day, he was in the middle of a meeting. Failing to understand that it is a fatal accident, he arrived by his wife’s deathbed only to see her on the verge of death. Before he could mouth out the words “I love you”, his wife had already passed away.
The man became despondent and tried to find solace in his children after his wife’s death. However, he soon realized that the children do not even try to communicate with him. Soon, his children have grown up and found their own families. Nobody cared for this old man who in the past hadn’t spared his time for them.
He moved into the best Old Folk’s Home, which provides excellent service with the money he has saved for him and his wife’s 50th, 60th, and 70th anniversary celebrations. All the money intended to go to Hawaii, New Zealand, and other countries went into the fund that pays for his stay in the home.
From that time until his deathbed, there were only old folks and nurses taking care of him. He now felt the loneliness that he did not feel before. Upon his deathbed, he called a nurse in and said to her, “Ah. If only I had realized this earlier… ” and died with tears upon his cheek.
What I am trying to tell you is time never stops. You go on and on, and before you realized it, you’ve already gone very far. If you had quarreled, make up quickly!
If you feel you need to hear your friend’s voice, don’t hesitate to pick up the phone.
If there are many dreams that you wish to fulfill, fulfill them as soon as possible.
Lastly, but most importantly, if you feel you need to tell somebody that you care, don’t wait until it is too late. If you keep thinking you will do that another day, then that day will never come. If you always think that tomorrow will come, then ‘tomorrow’ will run out quickly and you’ll realize the time that you’ve left behind you.
If tomorrow never comes
If I knew it would be the last time that I’d see you fall asleep, I would tuck you in more tightly and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door, I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time I’d hear your voice lifted up in praise, I would video tape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day.
If I knew it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute or two to stop and say “I love you,” instead of assuming, you would know I do.
If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day, well I’m sure you’ll have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there’s always tomorrow to make up for an oversight, and we always get a second chance to make everything right.
There will always be another day to say our “I love you’s”, And certainly there’s another chance to say our “Anything I can do’s?”
But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get, I’d like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget, Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike, And today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight.
So if you’re waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes, you’ll surely regret the day, That you didn’t take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss and you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today, whisper in their ear, Tell them how much you love them and that you’ll always hold them dear, Take time to say “I’m sorry,” “please forgive me,” “thank you” or “it’s okay”.
And if tomorrow never comes, you’ll have no regrets about today
He needed me
A nurse escorted a tired, anxious young man to the bed side of an elderly man. “Your son is here,” she whispered to the patient. She had to repeat the words several times before the patient’s eyes opened. He was heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack and he dimly saw the young man standing outside the oxygen tent.
He reached out his hand and the young man tightly wrapped his fingers around it, squeezing a message of encouragement. The nurse brought a chair next to the bedside. All through the night the young man sat holding the old mans hand, and offering gentle words of hope. The dying man said nothing as he held tightly to his son.
As dawn approached, the patient died. The young man placed on the bed the lifeless hand he had been holding, and then he went to notify the nurse.
While the nurse did what was necessary, the young man waited. When she had finished her task, the nurse began to say words of sympathy to the young man.
But he interrupted her. “Who was that man?” He asked.
The startled nurse replied, “I thought he was your father.”
“No, he was not my father,” he answered. “I never saw him before in my life.”
“Then why didn’t you say something when I took you to him?” asked the nurse.
He replied, “I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn’t here. When I realized he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, I knew how much he needed me…”
My baby stuff
being mom for the first time gives me mixed feelings. Excitement, fear, joy and anticipation. And since I am on my 25th weeks now, I bought basic stuff my baby will need in the hospital. I wanna share to you the things I bought yesterday for my kiddo…
We are still hoping for a girl though… I hope it’s a girl. Although in my last ultrasound, it looks like it’s a boy. Anyways, as long as the baby is healthy, normal and fine…
Till then
Why women cry
Thought I would love to share this wonderful story with you. Enjoy reading.
A little boy asked his mother, “Why are you crying?” “Because I’m a woman,” she told him.
“I don’t understand,” he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, “And you never will.”
Later the little boy asked his father, “Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?”
” All women cry for no reason,” was all his dad could say.
The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.
Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, “God, why do women cry so easily?”
God said: ” When I made the woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children. I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining. I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.
I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed.”
“You see my son,” said God, “the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart – the place where love resides.”
~ Author Unknown ~
Bataan getaway
I have neglected my blog for long time now and honestly I am overwhelmed with what’s going on with my life. But anyways, last May 7, my hubby and I decided to have a getaway to Bataan.
As a matter of fact, it was our second option. Our first plan was to go to Boracay, However, due to budget issues, (kuripot na naman ako), I chose a place just within Luzon. I understand that there are budget trip from Cebu Pacific however we thought that we need to leave the island around 5 am just to get the flight back to Manila.
So finally, we end up in Bataan. I finally found this getaway from Manila and I must admit, ’twas really great.
On our first day, it wasn’t that nice. Emong just met us as we travel the SCTEX. And when we arrived at the resort, my hubby and I went to the shore and watch those huge waves. Here are some photos:
Yeah as you can see, we were telling each other that it won’t be a good idea to go to Bataan at this time. But positive me, told my hubby, “Hey, don;t worry tomorrow will be a sunny day”..
So the following day, we were greeted with a cheerful sun. And I knew it will be great day for the two of us. Here are the photos of the resort while sunny…
Oh well, this is our first trip when I was 6 weeks pregnant. We promised to have more trips by next year after giving birth.
Till next time…
And it’s here.. Finally..
Oh well I have not updating my blog lately since I need a bed rest. I am currently on my way to 6 weeks pregnancy and getting and getting excited to see my baby.
I hope that my baby will be a girl, and that she will grow God fearing, loving, healthy and most of all strong like his papa.
Oh my hubby is so excited, we are both hoping to have a baby girl so he could have his princess.
There is nothing more exciting and fun knowing that I will be a mom soon. But whenever I think of my angel’s coming, there are still some fear in me that sets in. Most of all is, will I ever be a good mom?
I just hope that I will be able to raise my kid like my parents did to us. I pray to God that He will give us a healthy baby and that He will always keep her safe.
Till next time..
xoxo
I hope this is it…
I’m having this weird bleeding since last week. Not a regular menstruation I guess but rather a very short or most likely spotting only. I wonder if this what you call ‘implantation bleeding’. I am expecting to have my period this 24th, but I am hoping and praying that I am really pregnant. According to my doctor, I am showin’ signs of a pregnant woman, coz if I do now, I am on my third week.
But things aren’t always goin’ smoothly lately. Most of the times I feel so alone and just tryin to cover all the pains inside me. I try to smile so no one would know that I am hurting..
I guess I am good at it. Been good at it the longest time I can remember.
Now May 15 is also near, I need to prepare myself for looking for a new job. I cannot afford to be totally dependent on my bf. Especially if I am pregnant. I need to find a new job before May ends.
In these past three months, all I do is wonder. Whether I would still want a 8-5 job or I would want to set up my own biz. I will be getting a separation pay and I might use it for small biz. But darn, deep inside of me I am scared. What if the biz won’t work out? What will happen to me and my baby if in case?
A lot of things have been goin’ on my head. I have no one to talk to. I envy those people who have a lot of friends. I do have friends but they are too far right now. Some of them, they just left me. Now I am missing Jen.. I wish she’s here.
And right now, my bf and I argue a lot. And sometimes, I just want to give up. But should I give up now if I have a baby now?
Right now, I dunno what to do?
Life Handbook for 2009
Got this from a friend.. thought I might want to share it..
HANDBOOK 2009
Health:1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner
like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less
food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Make time for prayer.
6. Play more games.
7. Read more books than you did in 2008.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
Personality:11. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what
their journey is all about.
12. Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control.
Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don’t over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with his/her
mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate
others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems
are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like
algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Society:25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your
family and friends will. Stay in touch.Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come.
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.AND BUT THE LEAST…
40. Love you partner like you never did before. Tell them how much you love them coz you will never know if it will be the last chance given to you..
My Wishlist
Oh well I know it’s kinda late now for my this year’s wishlist. However I would like to share it you. Too bad the idea just came to my head just last night while lying on my bed.
As you know, I will be losing my job on May 15 because of redundancy. The fact I will be losing my job makes me feel scared since I am supporting my family. But the fact that I know I can surpass this crisis since I’ve got the most loving, patient and supporting husband. (Oh well I considered him as my husband aight?!)
Okay now here’s my wishlist for this year:
1. Have a baby.. Well I hope its a baby girl since my hubby wants to have a princess. He’s excited to have a baby so his wish is my top priority. I guess He has always been my top priority since we were together.
2. Make my small business ventures a success. I have decided to start my small business. It is a fragrance business and I am planning to sell it to my friends and put some at my sister’s resto. Her place is a nice place to put one since there are a lot of students there. If this will be a hit, I am planning to start another one, an e-loading business. Oh well, I would love to have this business. Not that I’m lazy aight, but I don’t want to work anymore because I want to concentrate on taking care of my family. My husband and specially if I will get pregnant this year, our baby..
3. Find a new job. I would want to find new job but not as hectic as my previous one. I want a less stressful job so I will have more time taking care of my family.
4. To be less jealous. Oh well, insecurities always hits me. I am insecure of those girls paying attention to my sexy love. I know I am not pretty nor sexy and that makes me more insecure when he gives attention to those girls. Eventhough he would always tell me I’ve got the most beautiful brown eyes he have ever seen.
5. Learn to trust him again. We’ve got lot of issues lately and this is one thing I should try my best to learn…. To trust him again. I won’t elaborate further but I hope God will help me.
6. Enjoy every moment of my life. We’ll we will never know until when He will get us. But enjoying every moment of our life will at least make us feel more complete. Regrets will not be there but just pure satisfaction.
7. Love him more. I guess I have been loving him less because of my jealousy. I just hope it’s not too late.
I guess this is for it now… I think its doable…
Ciao!
6th monthsary
I had so much fun with our last monthsary. Oh well we celebrated it earlier than our actual monthsary. But it was all worth it.
He picked me up Tuesday afternoon from the office and we went to Tagaytay Highlands. In fact, this trip was unplanned. Prior to this “unplanned” out of town trip, we had a fight. I thought it was his way of saying he was sorry. But hey, we can also consider this as our celebration too…
We stayed there from Tuesday night till Wednesday afternoon. In fact we were together till Thursday morning.
I would like to share our pictures.. Hope you like it guys..
View from Leslie
I love taking pictures of views around me. I know in the future, my baby and I will be looking back at these pictures with smile on our faces. I want to capture of every single moment with him.
I love you so much baby. Thank you for loving me and for just being there for me. I look forward in spending the rest of my life with you and our future babies.
The 4 wives
There was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies. He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best.
He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He’s very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to his friends. However, the merchant is always in great fear that she might run away with some other men.
He too, loved his 2nd wife. She is a very considerate person, always patient and in fact is the merchant’s confidante. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he always turned to his 2nd wife and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.
Now, the merchant’s 1st wife is a very loyal partner and has made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, the merchant did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.
One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself, “Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I’ll be alone. How lonely I’ll be!”
Thus, he asked the 4th wife, “I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I’m dying, will you follow me and keep me company?” “No way!” replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word.
The answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant’s heart. The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, “I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I’m dying, will you follow me and keep me company?” “No!” replied the 3rd wife. “Life is so good over here! I’m going to remarry when you die!” The merchant’s heart sank and turned cold.
He then asked the 2nd wife, “I always turned to you for help and you’ve always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?” “I’m sorry, I can’t help you out this time!” replied the 2nd wife. “At the very most, I can only send you to your grave.” The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was devastated.
Then a voice called out : “I’ll leave with you. I’ll follow you no matter where you go.” The merchant looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the merchant said, “I should have taken much better care of you while I could have !”
Actually, we all have 4 wives in our lives
a. The 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it’ll leave us when we die.
b. Our 3rd wife ? Our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.
c. The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we’re alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.
d. The 1st wife is in fact our soul, often neglected in our pursuit of material, wealth and sensual pleasure.
Guess what? It is actually the only thing that follows us wherever we go. Perhaps it’s a good idea to cultivate and strengthen it now rather than to wait until we’re on our deathbed to lament
Unconditional Love
I got this from my friend through email. As I read the article, I realized that it is true. When you love someone, you will also accept and embrace his/her flaws. If you can love someone beyond his imperfections, that means you are loving that person unconditionally.
I would like to share the article and I hope it could also touch your heart as it touches mine..
You may be familiar with the term unconditional love, but have you learned to practice this powerful concept? Unconditional love is a transformational gift that empowers us and those whom we love to become the best that we can be. It is fundamental to our happiness and wellbeing to learn how to love ourselves and others unconditionally.
Unconditional love is more than a powerful concept it is has the genuine power to heal both ourselves and people around us. When we love someone unconditionally we accept them with all of their flaws and weaknesses and transform those things within them which may be hard for them to accept into things they may more easily accept and deal with. When we accept ourselves for who we are with all our flaws then we empower ourselves to change and improve ourselves. Unconditional love tells another person that those things within themselves which they find fault with are ok, that they can accept those things about themselves and not feel badly about themselves or punish themselves for those things. And of course, when we love ourselves unconditionally we receive the same message and empower ourselves to grow and become better people.
Unfortunately it is part of the nature of our human condition to use our love as a manipulative tool. We may think we are trying to change something about someone we love for the better by placing conditions on our love, but this simply isn’t true. By making our love for either ourselves or for others conditional we limit our love and effectively say we do not love ourselves or we do not love others in regard to whatever conditions we have defined.
Withdrawing our love from ourselves and from others can only ever harm both the person who feels less loved and the person who limits their love. A person who feels unloved by us may feel less love for themselves by finding fault with themselves for which they then withhold their own love of themselves doing themselves more harm. Or a person who has been denied love based on conditions may resent the limits of the love they have received and become angry or bitter toward someone who otherwise might love them. So conditional love is very harmful, it is not really love at all because it has the power to do so much harm.
We should never place limits or conditions on our love for anyone else, including ourselves. It is an injustice to love anyone, including ourselves, in any conditional manner. We should always look within ourselves and other people for those places where we feel our love may be constrained by any judgment or criticism and let go of that judgment or criticism and accept ourselves and everyone else for who we are now. When we limit our love and predicate the full effulgence of our love on conditions which must first be met we are being selfish and manipulative. Love can never arise from selfish or manipulative behavior it can only be spoiled by these.
It may seem hard to love other people unconditionally. We may feel someone we otherwise might love unconditionally has a particular character trait which we feel is repulsive and we may want them to change that in order to make themselves worthy of our love. That is such a selfish ego game. Who are we to decide for others how they should be? It may be the case that someone who cares for us may discover for themselves what they may want to change about themselves which may make it easier for us to love them but they must do that of their own accord in their own good time and not be pushed to change or be manipulated to change because this pushing manipulative behavior is selfish and aggressive and may cause unpleasant reactions in which the person we feel we might otherwise love resents us and becomes angry with us.
So whenever we come across any limits we may feel in our loving regard for others or for ourselves we should change ourselves in response to those limits and learn to accept and to love in response to such feelings without limits or conditions. Love is not about putting ourselves ahead of everyone else, but when we love someone in a conditional manner that is exactly what we are doing; we are putting what we want ahead of truly loving someone.
We impoverish our lives by the limits which we place on our love. Worse, we impoverish the lives of others whom we should love unconditionally. We cannot afford this sort of poverty of our spirits. It demeans us, making less of us in our own eyes as well as in the eyes of others. Only by embracing ourselves and everyone we meet with our full effulgent and unconditional love can we empower ourselves to love and to heal ourselves and to love and help heal those around us whoever they may be.
We must let go of all of our terms and conditions and judgments and criticism and accept the world as it is and accept everyone in the world as they are. Acceptance is an incredibly powerful fulcrum which enables our love to be a lever that moves the world. We may move the world with our love in every moment, and the world will love us all back the more in return.
When we empower ourselves to be unconditionally loving to everyone we meet, including ourselves we will have never regret it; instead we will make ourselves and everyone we meet happier, healthier more loving human beings.
~Greg Gourdian~
More important than presents
A man going abroad to work leaves his fiancee crying. “Don’t worry, I will write you everyday,” he said. For years he did write her. But since he was happy with his job, he had no immediate plans of going home. One day, he received a wedding invitation. His girl friend was scheduled to be married. To whom? To the mailman bringing regularly the letters of her boy friend! Indeed, distance does make hearts flounder.
The poor boyfriend surely explained, “What went wrong? I sent her letters, chocolates, and flowers.” When relationships go wrong, the list of things given and done for the person usually crops up. We say, “I have given you this and that…I have done these things for you.” It seems that love is simply proven by the bestowal of gifts and favors.
But while presents are important, love demands what is basic: presence of the beloved. I have observed for instance, the orchids of my mother. When she’s away for a long time, they are unhealthy and many of them wither. But when she is around, they bloom with beautiful flowers. My mother does nothing exceptional. She just spends much time talking and caressing them.
I guess persons all the more require a caring presence. Love is fundamentally a commitment to a person. We may be committed to our business, job, hobby, sports and clubs, but strictly speaking, they cannot love us back. Only a person can love us in return, and for that matter the highest commitment as human beings is spending time with those persons we love. And since people need affection and nourishment, material things can only help up to a certain degree in fostering love. But it can never replace the greatest gift of presence.
Martha was busy with her job. She believed she had to work harder because she loves her father who is sick of cancer. She has to provide for his expensive medicines. Her brothers and sisters meanwhile stayed with their father most of the time. They bathed him, sang for him, spoon-fed him or simply kept him company.
One day Martha was hurt. She overheard her father telling her mother, “All our children love me except Martha.” “How can this be?” Martha thought. “Am I not the one killing myself in my work to have money to buy for his medicines? My brothers and sisters do not even provide their share in the expenses as much as I do.”
One night, as Martha was as usual late in going home, she peeped for the first time in the room where her father was lying. She noticed that her father was still awake. She decided to come close at his bedside. Her father held her hands and said, “I miss you. I don’t have much time. Stay with me.” And she stayed with her father holding his hand the whole night.
The next morning Martha said to everybody, “I have taken a leave of absence. I would like to be with father. I will bathe him and sing for him from now on.” Her father had a beautiful smile. He knew this time Martha loves him.
* As children, we need the assuring presence of our loved ones. Adult people need no less. *
Grandfather’s letter
One day, a young man was cleaning out his late grandfather’s belongings when he came across a bright red envelope. Written on the front were the words, “To my grandson.” Recognizing his grandfather’s handwriting, the boy opened the envelope. A letter inside read:
Dear Ronny,
Years ago you came to me for help. You said, “Grandpa, how is it that you’ve accomplished so much in your life? You’re still full of energy, and I’m already tired of struggling. How can I get that same enthusiasm that you’ve got?”
I didn’t know what to say to you then. But knowing my days are numbered, I figure that I owe you an answer. So here is what I believe.
I think a lot of it has to do with how a person looks at things. I call it ‘keeping your eyes wide open.’
First, realize that life is filled with surprises, but many are good ones. If you don’t keep watching for them, you’ll miss half the excitement. Expect to be thrilled once in a while, and you will be.
When you meet up with challenges, welcome them. They’ll leave you wiser, stronger, and more capable than you were the day before. When you make a mistake, be grateful for the things it taught you. Resolve to use that lesson to help you reach your goals.
And always follow the rules. Even the little ones. When you follow the rules, life works. If you think you ever really get by with breaking the rules, you’re only fooling yourself.
It’s also important to decide exactly what you want. Then keep your mind focused on it, and be prepared to receive it.
But be ready to end up in some new places too. As you grow with the years, you’ll be given bigger shoes to fill. So be ready for endings as well as challenging beginnings.
Sometimes we have to be brave enough to move from the familiar to the unfamiliar. Life isn’t just reaching peaks. Part of it is moving from one peak to the next. If you rest too long in between, you might be tempted to quit. Leave the past in the past. Climb the next mountain and enjoy the view.
Dump things that weigh you down emotionally and spiritually. When an old resentment, belief, or attitude becomes heavy, lighten your load. Shed those hurtful attitudes that slow you down and drain your energy.
Remember that your choices will create your successes and your failures. So consider all the pathways ahead, and decide which ones to follow. Then believe in yourself, get up, and get going.
And be sure to take breaks once in a while. They’ll give you a renewed commitment to your dreams and a cheerful, healthy perception of the things that matter the most to you.
Most important of all, never give up on yourself. The person that ends up a winner is the one who resolves to win. Give life everything you’ve got, and life will give its best back to you.
Love always,
Grandpa
by Steve Brunkhorst
