Pain of letting go

May 20, 2008 at 12:11 am (Inspirational, Life, Love, Personal) (, , , , , )

Why do we have to part while the love is still there? Why do we have to suffer? Why do we have to cry w060702_goodbye.jpghen somebody bids goodbye? Why do beginnings have an end? Why do we have to meet only to lose in the end?

There are questions left unanswered, words left unsaid, letters left unread, poems left undone, songs left unsung, love left unexpressed, promises left unfulfilled.

In a relationship, one of the hardest things to do is saying goodbye and letting go. It is as hard as breaking a crystal because you’ll never know when you will be able to pick up the pieces again. More often than not, they who go, feel not the pain of parting, it is they who stay behind that suffer, because they are left with memories of a love that was meant to be, a love that was.

At the beginning and at the end of a relationship, we are embarrassed to find ourselves alone. Unfair as it may seem, but that’s the way love goes. That’s the drama, the bittersweet and the risk of falling in love. After all, nothing is constant but change. Everything will eventually come to its end without us knowing when, without us knowing how, without us even knowing why. And we must forget not because we want to but because we have to.

In letting go, sorrows come not as a single spy but in battalion. It seems that everywhere you go, everything you do, every song you hear, every turn of your head, every move of your body, every beat of your heart, every blink of your eye and every breath you take always reminds you of him. It’s like a stab of a knife, a torture in the night. Funny how the whole world becomes depopulated when only one person is missing. Just imagine, there are billions of people on earth and yet it seems you feel lonely and empty without the other.

I don’t know if it’s worth calling an art, but letting go entails special skills sparkled with a considerable space and time. Time heals all wounds but it takes a little push on our part. Acceptance plays a part. Not all love stories end with “…and they live happily ever after.” Sometimes we have to part because of circumstances beyond our control. We have to suffer if it would mean happiness for others. We have to cry to temporarily let go of the pain. Every beginning has its end like every dawn has its dusk. It’s something we can’t control, something we had to live up.

It’s over. That person’s gone. But life has to go on. Goodbye doesn’t always mean forever. There will always be a place and time where questions will be answered, words will be spoken, letters will be read, poems will be recited in the night, songs will be sung in harmony, love will be expressed in solitude and promises will be fulfilled.

Somewhere. Somehow. Someday.

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It’s too late

May 20, 2008 at 12:08 am (Inspirational, Life, Love) (, , , , )

I never thought I would cry early this morning. Hmm not really cry but this tearjerker story pushed to be “emo” again… Hope this won’t happen to me..

How does it feel when after 10 long years of being friends, you’ll just realize that you’re falling in love with your best friend? Painful, isn’t it? But it’s much painful when you’ll realize that the feeling is mutual but it’s too late for both of you… that’s what happened to Jenny and Albert…

Jenny never expected that what she felt toward her best buddy Albert could ever be more than just brotherly love. They were together everyday, they have lunch together after their algebra class, have snacks together. They share secrets, but there was one thing that Albert didn’t know about Jenny… that Jen was falling in love with him. Jen kept it because she was afraid to take the risk of ruining their friendship. When she’s alone, she would just write a letter for Albert telling him how much she loves him then she would keep it inside her drawer.

Albert always asks for Jenny’s advice or what Jenny thinks about the girl he’s courting. Then Jenny would just reply with an aching heart. “She’s pretty, you look good together.” She uttered those words with a smile, but a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes… she felt that her heart was cut by a sharp knife. Then Albert would then smile back at her and hold her arms.

One day, Albert came rushing to Jen’s house with a big smile. He told Jenny that he already has a girlfriend. Jen felt that all her dreams were shattered, her heart was broken into pieces… she wanted to cry out loud… to tell Albert that she’s loved him even when they were still young… but it’s no use… Albert loves somebody else… she came back to reality… she gave Albert a sweet smile and hugged him… wished him luck. Albert hugged her too, then invited her to celebrate with his new girl… but Jenny refused… she cannot afford to see her beloved Albert with another woman… it would hurt her terribly.. so she made an excuse, she said that she needed to go to the doctor for her monthly check up.

Then she left. She drove her car without knowing where to go… she was crying… the pain was so unbearable… she wanted to scream… Albert called her “princess” before… but that was before… everything would be different now… Albert has a new princess in his life… her eyes were full of tears and her mind was reeling with memories of the past ten years she shared with Albert… she didn’t notice the car coming towards her… then there was a big clash… then darkness….

When Jenny opened her eyes, she’s already standing in a corner inside a white room. She noticed Albert sitting beside a bed holding a piece of paper… Albert was crying… when she came close, she saw herself lying on the bed… breathless…. reality came to her… she’s dead… Albert couldn’t see her… when she looked at the paper, it was her letter for Albert… the one that she kept on her drawer! Then she heard Albert saying…

Jen… why didn’t you tell me what you really felt…? Why didn’t you tell me that you love me… I was just waiting for any sign from you… but you did not give any… i love you too Jen… since the time that i learned what love means, i already loved you… why did you leave me my princess….?”

Jenny wanted to comfort Albert… she came closer and hugged him but she couldn’t even touch him… her tears rolled down from her eyes… she wanted to ask God for another chance… another chance to live again… to be with his prince…… but it’s too late…

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